What's the most expensive haircut? Chemotherapy
NotAKiller AreYouACop?
You'd think the Catholic Church would be thankful for condoms, less DNA evidence.
My teacher asked everyone how tall their grandparents were, I responded "My grandpa is 5ft 10, and my grandma is -6ft."
At first, I was a boy trapped in a girl's body, then I was born.
Me (an adult) with my girl going to a nice restaurant I asked the waiter "People under 12 eat free right" the water confirmed that yes people under 12 eat free, then my girlfriend said, "but I'm 13.
Doctor: I have bad news and really bad news. Patient: what's the bad news? Doctor: you have 24 hours to live. Patient: What's the really bad news? Doctor: I forgot to tell you yesterday.
Why do orphans miss half their basketball season? Cause' they don't have home games.
What's the difference between a black person and an apple? An apple chooses to hang.
What's the difference between a Cop and a bullet? When a bullet kills someone it gets fired.
My friend said that his book was getting boring and that he's gonna kill off some characters. I asked him what his book was about and he said "Oh, It's autobiography."
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple? An apple gets picked.
What's the difference between my dad and Nemo? Don't know still haven't found them.
My wife walk in on me cheating on her and said, "How could you cheat on me?!" I said, "She was lying naked on the table what I was supposed to do?" and my wife responded with, "Perform the autopsy."
What's an orphan's favourite movie? Home Alone