You know, it takes a lot of balls to successfully compete in women’s sports as a man.
Anus McDickNuggets
“Why can’t you be comfortable with my own body?”
“I think you should ask yourself that.”
me walking away after committing murder in a school with my trusty “friend”
Ahhhhh shit IT’S HUNTING SEASON y’all
for every dollar a man makes, a woman makes 70 cents. That’s unfair! Now the man only has 30 cents!
If they made a movie about your sex life, what would the title be?
Mine would be Alien Vs. Predator
What did the slaves say when they met their soon to be masters?
“Aaah a ghost!”
When I said I wanted vegetable stew I didn’t mean boil Stephen Hawking!
Whoever said men will fuck anything that moves is *dead* wrong.
I’d roast you but your mirror does that for me everyday
What do you call getting assaulted by a gay man? Fruit punch.
Roses are red
Violets are blue
I saw a monkey yesterday
And thought it was you
What would be the most heartbreaking scene in a dementia film? I forgor 💀
boys eat frito bandito, but men eat guido bandito
removing the polish with chemicals: 😀
removing the Polish with chemicals: 😳
Grandma isn’t responding. Close app, wait, cancel.
Which do you choose?
If it’s called the “living room,” why did my grandma die there