I would like to dedicate this song to a friend of mine, who was run over last week and is in hospital.
The wheels on the bus go round and round!
Allan C.
Welcome onboard Sexist Airlines. Everyone please fasten your seatbelts now as we are switching to a female pilot.
He turns, he shoots!
And that is a horrible end to the Grand National...
Let's take a look at the Swedish bench for today's game. 12.99 from Ikea.
Thanks to an unfortunate typo, it's the most one-sided action movie ever.
Alen vs. Predator
If you were to ask me, 'What is the easiest job in the world?', it would be an Australian psychiatrist. "G'Day, G'Day...how you doing...no worries, next!".
Soldiers, there is one thing you can be sure of. You will be at home with your families, in a jar on the mantelpiece.
I love it when your parents come round for Christmas, I just wish we couldn't hear them through the ceiling.
It's getting near midnight and I can already hear Big Ben. He's upstairs pumping the wife.
Discuss the synopsis of this poem. My Friend Billy Has A Ten Foot Willy.
James Bond gives all the ladies he's met, the perfect birthday gift. Chlamydia.
I would like to remind all passengers that this is a no-smoking flight, although do feel free to join me in the cockpit, where we've opened a window.
I would like to complain about the new sushi restaurant at Gatwick Airport. Although there were large portions going round on the conveyor, they did taste a bit like luggage.
I find it difficult to count to ten in French: un, deux, trois, quatre, cinq, six, sept. I can't say the next one because I have a huit allergy.
Overall, I'd say my career as a photographer has been a bit of a blur.
It's tricky when you're both a moth and a sea captain in charge of a ship but up ahead, you see a lighthouse.
A few days ago, I phoned up the spiritual leader of Tibet, and he sent me a large goat with a long neck. Turns out I phoned Dial-a-Llama.
My parents said they had to make a lot of sacrifices in order to pay for my education. They were both druids.
Hello, I'm C-3PO. And this is my brother, WD-40
You have been accused of stealing toilet rolls. How do you plead?
Quilty or Not Quilty?