Motivational Quote for today: if you're feeling tired and ugly today, cheer up, you probably won't feel tired tomorrow morning...
Why do the Chinese children don't believe in Santa? Because they're the ones making the toys.
Why do white people own a lot of pets? Because they're not allowed to own people anymore.
What does a Chinese guy say to his lover? “You’re the ying to my yang”!
What do genders and the twin towers have in common? There used to be 2, but now they're a sensitive topic...
I asked the librarian if the library had any books on paranoia. She whispered, "They're right behind you.
What do emos and unsalted popcorn have in common? They're both white and flavorless
Your so brilliant and bright that the Sun wears sunglasses when you're near
You're so awesome that the word 'awesome' demanded it's title back
Why can't you tell an Indian a secret? Because the red dot means they're recording!
“Poor old fool,” thought the gentleman as he watched an old man fish in a puddle outside a pub. He invited the old man inside for a drink. The gentleman asked, “So how many have you caught today?
”The old man replied, “You’re the eighth.”
(True story) Today I was bring some tortilla chips upstairs for some chips and dip, and I dropped them, so my mom goes “oh, now they’re broken.” And I took an opportunity to make a pun, so I said, “No, they’re just chipped.”
Why can’t orphans be criminals cause they’re not wanted
Bored? Punch an orphan! Who're they gonna tell, their parents?
we're talking the orphans to the movies we are watching spiderman no way home
Just because you‘re suicidal, you don‘t have to be a quitter. .. Wait, actually
you're so ugly that even the World Trade Center got a better transformation than you
I have a better method of abortion than currently used. It's like a regular one, except you can get free food out of it...we're about to give baby-back ribs a whole new meaning.
If you’re bored go punch and orphan what are the parents gonna do
Do you mix concrete for a living? Because you’re making me hard.
