Worst Jokes Ever

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Worst Jokes Ever

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Anonymous

“I am groot”

The image is split in two parts. The upper part shows a woman hanging onto a tree branch and looking up, seemingly in distress. The lower part shows Groot, a character from Guardians of the Galaxy, who appears to be observing the woman. The text "I am groot" overlays the image.

Anonymous

Crazy how the meanest girls are always some of the ugliest.

You're ugly
TONT
YMMOM
No man will want you
Small boobs
You're pretty
I am?

Anonymous

A close up of a white dog's face looking up with tired, slightly crossed eyes and a silly grin. The text overlay reads "WHEN YOU'RE BINGE WATCHING A SHOW AT 2 A.M. AND YOU'RE LIKE... OK... JUST ONE MORE EPISODE".

rapboat

A screenshot of a Reddit thread. The title reads "sounds about right. Fucking typical. This is how it goes with anyone I talk to". The thread shows a user asking to name two hip-hop artists so they can be compared. The first response is asking whether they meant "Aesop rock or Lupe fiasco". Then there's a response that claims that Lupe is better as a lyricist. Another user asks if they meant "aesop rock or asap rocky" because they are different rappers, to which the user replies he meant asap and that he never actually listened to Aesop rock.

Heroin Monkey

AG (Anon) 4 minutes ago
A
No shit, you said that before.
A
A
AG (Anon) now
I am also gay, I wish my grandpa would let me fuck him
AG (Anon) now
But for now I guess i'll just have to settle with raping my dog

Heroin Monkey

The image shows a two-panel comparison. The top panel is a picture of a woman looking distressed with the text "Designers, when a company hires another designer" and "Am I not enough?". The bottom panel shows a picture of a chimpanzee with the text "Engineers, when company hires another engineer" and "Apes together strong."

Heroin Monkey

The post shows two images of a brown stuffed bear toy called 'DJUNGELSKOG' with the text 'i don't want a man i just want a djungelskog' above them. The price is shown as '25'. There are stars and text underneath.

Anonymous

I hate this one but look anyway :>

A person holds up a piece of lined paper with a drawing of a face on it. The drawing is a simple sketch of a face with exaggerated features and the signature "Laura M. Hartley" above the drawing.

Jazzy💕

Like mf how tf am I supposed to talk when my mouth is wide tf open

The image shows a scene from Spongebob Squarepants. Patrick Star is holding Spongebob's mouth open, while Spongebob looks distressed. The text on top of the image reads "Nobody: The dentist: So how's life going".

DAP ME UP

A cartoon penguin is centered on a blue background with the text "PEOPLE THINK I'M CRAZY... I AM!" The penguin looks happy and laughs. The background is textured like brushed metal or stone with the laughing sound "HA HA HA" written all over.

Heroin Monkey

The image shows a tweet by Sophie that says "I must study war so my sons can study business so their sons can study art so their sons can write gay vampire fiction". Below is another tweet from Populism Updates stating "12. Ulysses S. Grant's great-grandson, an author of gay vampire fiction" with an image of an older man wearing a bow tie and a striped jacket.

Anonymous

Not mine, but still funny

A screenshot of a text message conversation. The first message bubble on the left says "i called". The second message bubble on the right says "i watched it ring". Below the second message it says "Read 10:02 AM".

Heroin Monkey

The image shows a first-person view, looking down at the ground, as someone is being dragged. The text on top of the image reads, "Me getting dragged by the corpse I buried at 33°67.E*98'N at 5:32 AM 3/27/2023."

arsonisfun

real

A close-up of a person's face with large, dark eyes. The image is grainy and blue-tinted. The text "oh shit it's 4am" is at the top.

♢ Shy Dragon ♢

A drawing shows a method to cheer up a friend. In the first panel, a woman brushes her teeth and wonders 'why am I alive'. The second panel shows the same woman squeezing out of a toothpaste tube onto a toothbrush. A text next to her says 'hahaha surprise'

Heroin Monkey

@smilingnodding
lyft driver is going double the speed
limit has a check engine light on and is
blasting slipknot. I immediatly took the wheel,
crashed the car and burned it down along with the Slipknot CD
#deathtoallposers
3:19 AM 2022-03-21 Twitter for iPhone
•

Heroin Monkey

CHILD CHILD CHILD CHILD CHILD CHILD
RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE
CHILD CHILD CHILD CHILD CHILD CHILD,
RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE
CHILD CHILD CHILD CHILD CHILD CHILD
RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE
I am wanted for seventeen war crimes
in Libya, but I do not condone Sonic
the Hedgehog's behavior.
Hey guys, War Brother Chungus here. I agree with Corpse
Stuff. Although Stuff must be held accountable for his
misdeeds, pedophilia is a crime against humanity and
cannot be tolerated in a healthy society.

𝓗𝓪𝓲𝓵𝓮𝔂𝔂

A fluffy white hamster with messy fur looks directly at the viewer. The text on the image says, "Why yes, I am a bit stressed. Why do you ask?"

Heroin Monkey

A man in a black mask and camouflage pants points to a Boeing airplane with the word 'BOEING' written on the side.

Heroin Monkey

The image is a male height chart. At the top, for the height of 6'3, 6'2 and 6'1, is a tall robot. For the height of 5'11, 5'10 and 5'9, there's a crying Wojak, with the text "I am six foot!!! I am six foot!!!" under it. For the heights from 5'8 to 5'3, a cute kitten is pictured in a towel.

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