Dying jokes

Why did Sally not come home from school today?

Because she died by a flying brick!

My uncle died from falling off a ladder and landing on his head (true story).

All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put my uncle together again.

I started a company making coffins. The slogan? 'We're dying to meet you.'

She asked me if I was hung like a horse, but I said no.

I'm hung like a person who wants to die, but then the rope broke.

Lenin was on his deathbed, with Stalin sitting by his side.

Lenin says: "What are you going to do after I die? They might not follow you."

Stalin responds: "Then they'll follow you."

I wondered why there was red all over my bathroom til I found out that my sis had dyed her hair red. Man, it looked like somebody died in there! Lol.

Why did Kenny die?

Was he trying to kill himself? Was he just dicking around?

You fighting? More like you're dying!

I was crying at school because my grandpa died. My friends asked what his last words were. I told them his last words were, "Are you still holding the ladder?"

Why did Stephen Hawking die so soon?

Because his misses bought the wrong batteries.

My bro’s parents died, but he didn’t know why.

Turns out they died because he was a failure, and he would be going to an orphanage in 4 days.

Leo might not be the dumbest person in the world... but she’d better hope they don’t DIE!

Me die.

Bin Laden's relatives died in a plane crash on 8/1. 🤣🤣🤣

Me: It's so sad Ironman died of ligma. You: What the heck is an Ironman? Me: Ligma balls. "snap" ^kaboom^

It smells like something died in my room, oh yeah, it's my dignity, hope, and my feeling. Put in the corner of my room, they make a decent blanket to wipe my tears.

One of my friends got a haircut, and everyone giggled and bullied him... I didn’t, I died of laughter 😂

You're so poor that you die and go to the backrooms.

If I died and went to heaven, do you think I’d be friends with Prince?

The only thing that makes me want to stay alive more is the thought that Prince would hate me.

"Do you have a noose?"

"Nose?"

"Yeah, noose- nose... I heard yours was stuffed lately--haha."

"I actually smell something--like a corpse. Is it you?"

"No."

*Dying on the inside has never been so detectable.*