Dying jokes
Face the truth, Jake could have went on the door, but Rose wanted him to die.
Have you heard about the Pillsbury Dough Boy? He died of a yeast infection.
Every single person on the plane died except for 2. How is that possible?
It said all the single people died; the 2 were a couple. That's how it was possible.
What's the difference between Isaac Newton and the baby I just killed?
Isaac Newton died a virgin!😎
My grandma just died from cancer.
My last words to her were “I like your cut, G.”
Why did the orphan cross the road?
To die on the other side.
My dad died in 9/11. At least he did what he loves best: flying planes.
I want to die like my grandpa, with a blindfold and a wet sponge on his head.
This is a joke to tell to someone with you or something. SOMEONE will laugh. Say: "This word isn't gonna be funny until I tell you, your probably not going to laugh." *your friend* "what's the word?" *you* "finger" *friend* *dies of laughter*. *note* it works better if you wiggle your finger or something before and not everyone laughs, so don't feel bad if they don't. Also, don't be surprised if you get put in jail for murder, because you're going to kill someone with this.
How did Stephen Hawking die? He went in the rain! 😂😂😂
Roses are red, Violets are blue, Oh, you wanna die? I wanna die too!
Do emos get jealous when their phone dies?
My friend died. Me and my other bestie start singing the coffin song. My bestie in the coffin, why are you not sad? Why are you still alive?
I would tell a joke, but I’m sad my dad died in 9/11. He’s the greatest pilot that went down with the Twin Towers.
What does Diana stand for?
Died In A Nasty Accident.
Your mom so ugly that Paul Walker died.
Do emo kids get jealous of their phone when it dies?
Vegan Teacher the musical.
Miss Kadie - "Oh no, you poor dead animal!"
Mr. Beast- 🎶 "You're a dumb Communist, Miss Kadie" 🎶
Chandler-🎵 "Yup, you're one high fluting son of a gun" 🎵
Mr. Beast- 🎵 "I just gobbled up a quadruple patty from my restaurant" 🎵
Miss Kadie - 🎵 "Don't hurt animals kids, do you want to be a vegans 'R' us kid?" 🎵
Kids- 🎵 "We've had enough of your problems, Miss Kadie, you're such a commie!"
Miss Kadie - 🎵 "I just want to die because I'm so sad!"
- Miss Kadie jumps off Mr. Beast Burger and commits suicide.
1.) What’s yellow and can’t swim?
- A bus full of children.
2.) Did you hear about the Pillsbury Dough Boy?
- He died of a yeast infection.
3.) I will never forget my grandad’s last words...
- “You’re still holding the ladder, right?”
4.) I have a fish that can breakdance...
- Only for 20 seconds though, and only once.
5.) Give a man a match and he will be warm for a few hours...
- Light a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
I'm gonna eat a hell of a lot of popcorn kernels before I die just to make the cremation a little more interesting.