Dying jokes

Where is a place where people die?

Rosshall Academy.

All you pro-life Christian motherfuckers can go die, lol.

My grandpa is an asshole. The fucker deserved to die. The son of a bitch was using his life support, and I needed to change my iPhone.

What's the last thing emos feel before they die? Rope burn.

Leo might not be the dumbest person in the world... but she’d better hope they don’t DIE!

She asked me if I was hung like a horse, but I said no.

I'm hung like a person who wants to die, but then the rope broke.

This is 15 first-year treating a swan.

Students return: "Without payment?"

The word "I die with many important problems."

Later, you answer this point: "DSD, rats?"

In 9/11, people were dying for the pizza. But it was at the bottom, so they had to die for it literally.

Why did Sally not come home from school today?

Because she died by a flying brick!

My uncle died from falling off a ladder and landing on his head (true story).

All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put my uncle together again.

Nechen has been writing articles for the class for years.

Then the Guru asked him, "If I die now, what will be on my grave?" Fritchen searched for the plastic bag and shouted, "This is a protective bag!!"

You're so boring that you make war veterans die quicker, and yet they're still on life support.

Someone prank calls a general. The general hangs up and goes, "Kids these days have no respect for their elders. That's why I send them all to die."

Lenin was on his deathbed, with Stalin sitting by his side.

Lenin says: "What are you going to do after I die? They might not follow you."

Stalin responds: "Then they'll follow you."

You fighting? More like you're dying!

Me die.

Why did Kenny die?

Was he trying to kill himself? Was he just dicking around?

Why did Stephen Hawking die so soon?

Because his misses bought the wrong batteries.

My bro’s parents died, but he didn’t know why.

Turns out they died because he was a failure, and he would be going to an orphanage in 4 days.

You're so poor that you die and go to the backrooms.