Dying jokes
This is how to die soft 101.
Yo bro, you good? You need a hug?
So my friend died. I was at her casket. I said I'll see you on the other side, so I went to the other side of the casket.
Roses are red, violets are blue, Alexander Boris de Pfeffel had wine and cheese while your loved ones died in the ICU.
The West is dying.
Why do orphans die when a tornado comes?
They don't have parents to protect them.
When I died, my friend said he'd cover me.
I wasn't close to my dad when he died.
Which was good. He died during 9/11.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
His PC overheated.
My uncle died in 9/11. He was a great pilot.
My friend died. Me and my other bestie start singing the coffin song. My bestie in the coffin, why are you not sad? Why are you still alive?
My emo friend got jealous when my phone died.
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
Cause he would never look both ways.
It smells like something died in my room, oh yeah, it's my dignity, hope, and my feeling. Put in the corner of my room, they make a decent blanket to wipe my tears.
I was crying at school because my grandpa died. My friends asked what his last words were. I told them his last words were, "Are you still holding the ladder?"
Weirdo: I'm too high to die!
Me: You'll just fall harder.
How did the gay man die? Homicide.
"Do you have a noose?"
"Nose?"
"Yeah, noose- nose... I heard yours was stuffed lately--haha."
"I actually smell something--like a corpse. Is it you?"
"No."
*Dying on the inside has never been so detectable.*
If I died and went to heaven, do you think I’d be friends with Prince?
The only thing that makes me want to stay alive more is the thought that Prince would hate me.
One of my friends got a haircut, and everyone giggled and bullied him... I didn’t, I died of laughter 😂
Me: It's so sad Ironman died of ligma. You: What the heck is an Ironman? Me: Ligma balls. "snap" ^kaboom^