Dying jokes

What do you call a blind person driving a car?

Died.

My grandma just died from cancer.

My last words to her were “I like your cut, G.”

Emo: Phone die.

Emo: Why not me? ;(

If you execute someone in ventricular fibrillation in the electric chair, will they come back to life once and then die?

(1968) - Hellen Keller died, didn’t you hear?

No?

Well neither did she.

Little Johnny went to the beach, found some cocaine, and died. The end.

One day I seen a little boy walking in the grocery store, so I asked if he was okay, and he said yes. I asked where his parents were, and he said his mom died years ago and his dad is stuck in the milk aisle.

I want to die at a party. This is because nobody can be sad over me.

My joke is your life support getting unplugged because my phone is about to die.

Hahahahahahhah my nan died :)

You know why you never wanna fly with an orphan?

'Cause then they know they won't die alone.

How did Stephen Hawking die?

Of a bad internet connection.

Did you hear about the gay Indian who died?

He was a brave sucker.

Why are the English so good at chess? Because their Queen never dies.

Whoever says a joke "is not a joke" should go commit bye die.

I swear bro, this time I don't want any jokes on 9/11. Like people actually died, like that shit is just plane wrong. 💀

Which way is quicker to die? Noose or slitting my throat?

Bro, if I die, I want to die blown up by 34 pounds of C4 at a furry convention.

My uncle died on 9/11. Her last words were "Allahu Akbar."

My dad died in 9/11.

He was a good pilot.