Dying jokes
Why do people not adhere to the corona measures?
Because they hate their lives and want to die.
In a thick Russian accent:
"Let's buy some vodka, pollute the earth with oil, and make insecure nuclear power plants that break all the time! Ah, yes. The mother land. A great place to be. Not like those stupid Ukrainian people who are living happy lives, they are crazy and need to die."
Why'd the chicken cross the road?
That doesn't matter, we need to get the best joker to go back to posting here, he was funny but now people say they are him and ruin his good name, he was the top of the charts for over a year, so screw all these chumps! Bring back THE REAL SPECIAL!!!
Also, the chicken dies in the end, ha ha, funny, whatever.
Did Jesus die virgin? Nope, he got nailed before he died.
There were 500 bricks on a plane. One fell off.
Little Sally was crossing a river full of crocodiles. How did she survive the river? She had a gun. When she got out of the river, she died. Why? Because a brick fell on her head.
How do you die from Alzheimer's? You forget how to breathe.
Jesus has died on the cross to take away our sins. He has all power, but he won’t abuse it. He will help us through tough times. Have you ever felt that feeling in you that something is a bad idea? That’s Jesus. He is the savior and never let anyone say different.
Our Lord will watch us. We will go to Heaven, the promised land, only as long as we believe he’s real and always here. Don’t let anyone speak less and make you disbelieve in our Lord. This is your choice: believe and go to Heaven, or don’t believe and go to Hell, an eternal death. Make a choice.
The man who invented Velcro died.
RIP.
I tried to fight a razor. It cut me so deep I thought I would die.
Turns out he didn't kill me. I was never happy, but that shit made me angry.
Stop making jokes about 9/11. My dad died in 9/11.
Best pilot of Southern Arabia
Allahu Akbar.
My best friend was recently gunned down in a drive-by shooting and died a virgin, but he wasn’t buried one.
What is the difference between Paul Walker and the Queen?
Paul Walker passed 100 before he died.
What's the best thing about a prostitute dying on you during sex?
The second hour is free.
I asked the emo girl if she gets jealous when her phone dies.
If the US ate chicken, it would die.
I should probably stop making jokes about 9/11.
My dad died to it, he was a great pilot.
My uncle died in 9/11. He was a pilot.
I read the joke "what we breathe is called oxygen, that is African food" to my African friend, but he is breathing in tears from his mother dying of hunger...
What's the difference between an abortion and a baby girl in China? Nothing, they both die.
Joe Biden would’ve died in the Secret Service tackle. They would have been like, "Get down Mr. Presi-"