Dying jokes
In the movie "Cars 2", there is a priest, which means car Jesus died for the sins of the cars.
What’s the difference between Isaac Newton and the kid I kidnapped?
Isaac Newton died a virgin.
Every woman will die in five seconds.
Mother: Dies.
Sister: Dies.
Girlfriend: Lives.
You: 🤬
I wasn’t close to my dad when he died. It’s a good thing he stepped on a land mine.
What do Nelson Mandela and Paul Walker have in common?
They both died at 95.
Why do we even live? We're just gonna die anyway, so what's the point?
I took my brother's vape, and now he is on the ground gasping for air. He acts like he is dying.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
Somebody threw an EMP at him.
If you're sleeping, and you fall in your dream, you may have died, and the angels dropped you.
Or you don't wake up, and you were on your way to hell.
The reason Steven Hawking died is he lost his internet connection.
How to make an orphan die?
Tell them to yell until their folks come home.
Died and came back sped. I call that rien-tardation.
Has anyone else ever been jealous when their laptop dies?
What's a suicide bomber's biggest fear?
Dying alone.
My Italian chef friend died last week. He pasta away.
Why did he die?
Because God made a mistake and pressed Ctrl+Z.
Stephen Hawking died because his WiFi ran out.
It’s been a terrible day today. My ex got hit by a bus and died.
Not only this, but the council cut my bus driver's permit!
This category is messed up.
My Mom died in 9/11, at least she was doing what she loved, flying planes.
One day my friend said: "I want tacos from Katie's, you?" and I said no thanks and she left. I never saw her again. Today I remember that I saw her name on TV as one of the victims of suicide, then I remember her and my motto: "If I'm dying, you're dying with me, you got no choice." I NEVER ate tacos from Katie's again.