Dying jokes
If you're sleeping, and you fall in your dream, you may have died, and the angels dropped you.
Or you don't wake up, and you were on your way to hell.
The reason Steven Hawking died is he lost his internet connection.
Stephen Hawking died because his WiFi ran out.
Why did he die?
Because God made a mistake and pressed Ctrl+Z.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
Somebody threw an EMP at him.
Girlfriend: You remind me of a cell phone.
Girlfriend's ex: Why?
Girlfriend: Because you're about to die.
Every woman will die in five seconds.
Mother: Dies.
Sister: Dies.
Girlfriend: Lives.
You: 🤬
This category is messed up.
My Mom died in 9/11, at least she was doing what she loved, flying planes.
Died and came back sped. I call that rien-tardation.
My Italian chef friend died last week. He pasta away.
What's a suicide bomber's biggest fear?
Dying alone.
What do the people in heaven that died on the Titanic call the Titanic? The Dietanic.
Why do orphans want to die?
Because they might see their parents in Heaven.
Tell an emo, "Do you get jealous when your phone dies?"
What’s the difference between Isaac Newton and the kid I kidnapped?
Isaac Newton died a virgin.
In the movie "Cars 2", there is a priest, which means car Jesus died for the sins of the cars.
What do Nelson Mandela and Paul Walker have in common?
They both died at 95.
I wasn’t close to my dad when he died. It’s a good thing he stepped on a land mine.
I took my brother's vape, and now he is on the ground gasping for air. He acts like he is dying.
Why do we even live? We're just gonna die anyway, so what's the point?