Dying jokes
Why did Stephen Hawking die so soon?
Because his misses bought the wrong batteries.
What's Technoblade's favorite show and is the only one he can relate to?
Peppa Pig: Peppa Dies!
Yo momma so fat she died at 5. Her kids, f
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Your hairline is so bad that the queen died when looking at it!
Francis Pope, Donald Trump, Barack Obama, and a little boy were on a falling airplane. There were 3 parachutes. Donald Trump grabs the first parachute and jumps off the plane saying, “The world needs my leadership!” Barack Obama grabs a parachute and says, “I need to help make choices for our world,” so he jumps off the plane. At this point, the Pope and the little boy are on the plane. The Pope says to the boy, “take the last parachute, I am too old and I’m going to die soon one day.” The little boy says, “actually there are two, you see, Donald Trump took my backpack.”
What do you call a pedophile who's dying? You.
You walk into an old, run-down house and you see that a light is on. You walk over to the light and you see blood all over the room, and you run to the exit to leave, but when you get to the door, somehow it is locked from the outside and you have no choice but to go into the house more. You see another room with a light on, so you go in. When you go in, "flip," all the lights go off, then you see a bright light and then a screen shows up and it says, "Let the game show begin." You see other people next to you and they seem scared, then a wall comes down, you see optical cords and you go on, and then a chainsaw comes at you and it misses you, but the other kid behind you gets hit and dies.
Part two coming soon. This is inspired by the SCP Foundation. Have a nice summer.
Teacher: Ok class, I'm going to ask a question about your family.
Alex: Miss, my Dad died in 9/11.
Teacher: OH NO, I'M SO SORRY!
Alex: Don't worry miss. It was only Dad and besides, he did what he wanted before he died.
Teacher: What was that?
Alex: Flew the plane.
Sayori: *dies*
Monika: "You kinda left her hanging... 😊"
MC: "😨"
Did Jesus die a virgin? No, he got nailed before he died.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Die.
Die who?
Me, I want to die.
If you die a virgin, then where does your v-card go? Does it go with you to the grave, or does your mortician take it from you?
I asked the emo girl if she gets jealous when her phone dies.
My dad died in 9/11. I'll always remember his last words:
Allah hu akbar.
I really hate waiting to die... It's taking a lifetime.
pilot: *over intercom* we're all going to die.
passengers: *start freaking out*
pilot: all of us will one day, no one knows when.
passengers: *sigh with relief*
pilot: but it'll probably be when we hit that mountain.
Have you heard about the Pillsbury Dough Boy? He died of a yeast infection.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
His computer got a virus.
My uncle died on September 11. He was the greatest pilot in all of Saudi Arabia.
Face the truth, Jake could have went on the door, but Rose wanted him to die.