Dying jokes
What's the similarity between an orphan and my dick?
They both will die alone.
How did 10 die?
Because it was in between 9 and 11.
I knew a girl that died from having phone sex... She died of hearing aids.
Your hairline goes back further than when my gran died, and she was buried 6 foot under.
Why did 10 die??
Because he was in between 9/11.
A man and a giraffe walk into a bar.
After a few drinks, the giraffe falls over and dies. The man begins to walk out when the bartender stops him.
“Hey, you can’t leave that lyin’ there!” The bartender yells out.
The man turns around: “It’s not a lion. It’s a giraffe.”
Why did the orphan die?
He killed himself because the lack of a support system made him depressed.
Depression: Here, your mom just died.
Me: My mom is already dead.
Why do emo kids not get phones? Because the phone dies before them.
I ask the emo girl if she gets jealous when her phone dies.
U die from robot bite.
Stephen Hawking died due to the BIOS update. He shut down because the power cable got chewed.
Hey, wake up. I just murdered your family, but I live alone.
Then who are these people in your house? They are people in my house? Well, not anymore, dumb bitch. You're welcome, you could have died.
My grandpa's last words before he died in Vietnam were, "What the fuck did I step on?"
Yo mama so hairy, you almost died from a rug burn!
Sayori: *dies*
Monika: "You kinda left her hanging... 😊"
MC: "😨"
When a Muslim dies, he gets 72 virgins.
It's the same thing with priests, except the virgins are children.
Daughter: So, I got my period.
Mom: That's wonderful, dear! Now you can bleed for a whole week a month without dying!
Daughter: That's nice, Mum, but isn't the whole point of getting your period dying?
Mom: Yes, but you have to kill yourself a little longer to live through to another day.
Daughter: Thanks, Mum. That makes a whole lot of sense. (Sarcastically.)
Mom: You're welcome, honey. (Clueless, obviously.)
How to make an orphan die?
Tell them to yell until their folks come home.
Has anyone else ever been jealous when their laptop dies?