Dying jokes
My dad died during 9/11, he was the best pilot in all Saudi Arabia.
How did Michael Jackson die?
Because he danced like a zombie!
A man ate a glue stick. It tasted bad. He died. Hahahahah!
Mom died, so I planted mums and forget-me-nots all over her grave site.
Stephen only died because his wife tripped over the power cord.
Q: Why is Japan the healthiest country?
A: Last time they had a fat man, 80,000 people died.
A priest sees a man about to commit suicide. The man says, "I have nothing to live for here. I will die, go to Heaven, and get 72 virgins." Then the priest says, "No need for this. I will take you to the local elementary school."
Teacher makes 1 kid recite the ABCs and the other count to 10.
Teacher: You can kill 2 birds with 1 stone.
Little Johnny goes home and throws a rock at two birds. One dies. He gives his dad a concussion from the rock hitting his head.
Johnny at school: You can kill a bird and give a man a concussion.
Roses are red, give me some limes, boy dies after masturbating 42 times.
Did you hear about the person who died? I would tell you about him, but he died.
Q: How did Stephen Hawking die?
A: He lost internet connection.
Stephen Hawking died because he was too far away from the Wi-Fi router.
When I die, I want to be shot out of a cannon.
And into a children's birthday party.
Stephen Hawking didn't die, he just uploaded himself to the 'net...
Jack and Jill went up the hill to go and swim in some shit. Jack forgot to bring some goggles and floaty, and now they have a daughter.
Secret: Jill didn’t go in the shit yet. Jack went in first and died! :D
Why did Technoblade die?
'Cause he wanted to Skyblock in Heaven!
Did Jesus die a virgin?
Of course not, you idiot. He got nailed before he died!
What did Hitler say to Stan after he died?
I did nazi that coming!
Yo mama is so old, I told her to act her age, and she died.
A woman prayed to be a mother everyday for many years until she crossed a road without looking and got hit by a woman driver and died.
When she met God, she asked Him, "How come you didn't answer my prayers?"
God replied, "I did. I kept sending men to rape you, but you kept on choosing to destroy my creations by having an abortion."