Dying jokes
How Stephen Hawking died: he drove too far away from the wall and the cord got unplugged.
I asked an emo kid if they were jealous because their phone died before them.
Did you know an eraser on a pencil slowly dies from your mistakes?
And did you know you're actually supposed to live for 25 minutes, but every time you breathe, it resets time?
How did Steven Hawking die?
He lost internet connection.
DDLC be like: "You kinda left her (Sayori) hanging."
And Yuri TOOK A SEAT...
On the floor.
And died.
The end.
rip my bird he died :(
My Grandmother died last month. The thing that bugs me to this day, I couldn't understand her last words... through the pillow.
My great grandfather died in 9/11.
He was such a good pilot.
Why did the joke die?
Because it's a meme!
"This isn't the first time my husband's cheated on me, but you're my sister! You'd better have a better explanation than this magic lamp."
"You know how you have to be specific making wishes? Well, I was really horny and asked the genie to have the world's biggest penis....ended up with a concert pianist that's seven foot tall. Nice guy. Next time I tried, I asked for the world's biggest cock, that was fun but the poor rooster died. So I asked for the world's biggest dick and that's how I ended up on top of your husband."
I took my brother's vape, and now he is on the ground gasping for air. He acts like he is dying.
Why did 10 die? -- He was in the middle of 9/11.
I love telling good news to my patients, like they survived the crash but their family died.
I want to make another joke about Josef Vasicek, but I think if I make the NHL, I'll die in an airplane crash, so I won't risk it again.
How did Sally die?
She got shot.
How? She could not run away.
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
Because he lost Wi-Fi connection.
Q: What were my son's last words before he died?
A: "Bye, Dad, I am going to school."
Ex: baby i miss u.
Me: sorry i can't talk, i'm at a funeral.
Ex: who died?!
Me: my feelings 4 u, bitch.
I saw a man sitting on the ledge of a bridge the other day, and asked him what was wrong. He responded with nobody loves me, so i told him that may be true but you dont wanna kill yourself you want to die of old age, or at least be murdered, suicide is for the weak. he responded with your right so I pushed him over the bridge, and he died of murder
1.) What’s yellow and can’t swim?
- A bus full of children.
2.) Did you hear about the Pillsbury Dough Boy?
- He died of a yeast infection.
3.) I will never forget my grandad’s last words...
- “You’re still holding the ladder, right?”
4.) I have a fish that can breakdance...
- Only for 20 seconds though, and only once.
5.) Give a man a match and he will be warm for a few hours...
- Light a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
What's the difference between meat and fish?
If you beat your fish, it'll die.