Dying jokes
A man ate a glue stick. It tasted bad. He died. Hahahahah!
When I finished high school, I wanted to take my graduation money and buy myself a motorcycle, but my mom said no.
See, she had a brother who died in a horrible motorcycle accident when he was eighteen, and I could just have his motorcycle.
What if plants are farming us, giving us oxygen until we die, and turn into natural fertilizer which helps them?
How did Michael Jackson die?
Because he danced like a zombie!
Luigi was dying and had two sons. Bruno was handsome, but Alberto was ugly.
He said, "Maria, tell me, is Alberto my son?"
"Yes, Luigi," his wife said, and he died happily.
Wife said, "Thank God he didn’t ask about the other one!"
Q: Why is Japan the healthiest country?
A: Last time they had a fat man, 80,000 people died.
Stephen only died because his wife tripped over the power cord.
A priest sees a man about to commit suicide. The man says, "I have nothing to live for here. I will die, go to Heaven, and get 72 virgins." Then the priest says, "No need for this. I will take you to the local elementary school."
Teacher makes 1 kid recite the ABCs and the other count to 10.
Teacher: You can kill 2 birds with 1 stone.
Little Johnny goes home and throws a rock at two birds. One dies. He gives his dad a concussion from the rock hitting his head.
Johnny at school: You can kill a bird and give a man a concussion.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to go and swim in some shit. Jack forgot to bring some goggles and floaty, and now they have a daughter.
Secret: Jill didn’t go in the shit yet. Jack went in first and died! :D
Roses are red, give me some limes, boy dies after masturbating 42 times.
Did you hear about the person who died? I would tell you about him, but he died.
Why did Technoblade die?
'Cause he wanted to Skyblock in Heaven!
Did Jesus die a virgin?
Of course not, you idiot. He got nailed before he died!
Yo mama is so old, I told her to act her age, and she died.
What did Hitler say to Stan after he died?
I did nazi that coming!
Q: How did Stephen Hawking die?
A: He lost internet connection.
Stephen Hawking didn't die, he just uploaded himself to the 'net...
Stephen Hawking died because he was too far away from the Wi-Fi router.
When I die, I want to be shot out of a cannon.
And into a children's birthday party.