Dying jokes

Kid 1: Guys, stop making 9/11 jokes. My dad died in 9/11.

Kid 2: Sorry, I didn't know.

Kid 1: He was the best fighter pilot in all of Saudi Arabia.

Don’t you hate it when your teacher(s) say, “just focus, it’s that easy?”

And then you die inside.

Why did Stephen Hawking die? ... Because he pressed "shut down" instead of "sleep."

My ex died in an anchorage accident.

She always was a sleeping hooker.

Did anyone ever notice that "STUDYING" is a mixture of studying and dying?

I wish that when Mario dies to some random object, I died too.

A kid had school today.

He was late every single day. He said in his mind, "I wish I can go to school again." What happened? It's obvious...... He died :)

Before my grandad died, he whispered to me, "Is your uncle still in the basement?" I said he has died. Oh, my grandad said, "I will lock him in heaven's basement."

Two scientists walk into a bar. The first one says, "Can I have a drink of H2O?" Then the second says, "Can I have a drink of H2O2?" and he dies.

How did Stephen Hawking die?

His core i5 Overheated. XD

Why did Stephen Hawking die?

He drove too far away from the power point/modem.

Kenya, if you keep smiling then you will become a positive bitchy!

Tenya, everyone hates you why I have no idea!

Kenya stop smiling and start dying!

Tenya, why are you so mean!

Kenya, stop acting like a mantrapp!

Tenya, stop being a bitch in a skirt!

Please leave a comment good or bad! cusswords whatever!

My grandfather died at Auschwitz.

Poor fella fell off the guard tower.

Two women, Jane and Emma, are in the afterlife waiting for judgement.

Emma turns to Jane and says, "I'm just curious, but how did you die?"

Jane replies with, "I burnt to death."

Emma, shocked, responds with, "That sounds horrible! What was it like?"

Jane answers with, "It first felt really hot and painful, but then I felt nothing. How did you die?"

Emma replies with, "Well, I believed my husband was cheating on me. I decided to leave work early one day to make sure he was loyal. I found him on the phone with his mother. I thought he was hiding something from me so I ran to the bedroom and found nothing. Then I sprinted to the kitchen and didn't find anything. I then jolted outside to the backyard and just found that he hadn't cleaned the pool. I was so tired from running that I fell over into the pool and drowned."

Jane retorts with, "Well if you checked the oven neither of us would be here right now."

A man from France, a man from Britain, and a man from New York are on an expedition to the Amazon Forest. After a while, they get lost. As they are walking, suddenly the bushes jump up into the air, and men with spears are there.

One man says, "Hey, you're in our sacred land. So, what we are going to do is skin you and then use your flesh to make canoes. But we aren’t that crazy, so we will let you choose how you die."

The man from France said, "Bring me the poison."

The man from Britain said, "Bring me the gun."

And the man from New York said, "Bring me a fork."

The guy was confused with the fork but still brought the items and gave them to them. The guy from France said, “For France!” and drank the poison and died. The man from Britain said, “Long live the Queen!” and shot himself and died. And the man from New York started stabbing himself with the fork and said, “MAKE A CANOE OUT OF THIS YOU FUCKERS!”

Friends are like bananas. If you peel their skin off and eat them, they die.

Like this if you have ever had a family member die.

So, I met Michael Jackson before he died. He dragged me to his bed.

My dad died in 9/11. He was a Muslim pilot.

Bitches be like "Kill all men" till a black guy dies.