Dying jokes
Dentist: Open up, sir.
Me: So... I hate my life, my family, my sisters, my dog, my cat, and I tried to take a bath with my toaster, but my dog took it. That's why I hate my dog. And my cat died trying to chew my rope; it choked... Yea.
Dentist: I... meant your mouth... so I can clean your teeth.
Me: :O Ohhhh, my bad.
Dentist: Do you need help??
Me: Yep.
Dentist: ...
Me: ....
The cemetery is so overcrowded.
People are just dying to get in.
You've probably heard this one before, but screw it.
What's the difference between Jesus Christ and the kid I just killed?
Jesus Christ probably died a virgin.
Why do emo kids not get phones? Because the phone dies before them.
Life lesson guys:
Remember, being healthy is basically dying as slowly as possible.
Why did Steven Hawking die?
A quad rasher ran him over.
Yo mama so ugly, she the real reason all the dodos died.
Jesus tried solving the Rubik's cube,
but died on the cross.
Sad news, my obese parrot died today.
Mind you, it's a huge weight off my shoulders.
Yesterday I saw an orphan walking down the street. I asked him if he was ok. He said no, so I asked him if he needed help. And he said yes, so I let him in my car and said, "Don't worry, you'll be home with your parents soon." He said my parents died. I said I know.
Do emo kids get jealous of their phone when it dies?
If Jeffy goes to an orphanage, he will die. How is he supposed to move?
What noise did Steven Hawking make when he died?
Windows shutting down.
I am so depressed! I get jealous when my phone dies.
Why did the dick suck my ass? They died.
My grandpa died in 9/11. He crashed a plane.
Why did Steven Hawking die?
He lost Wi-Fi connection and didn't get the data plan.
What died on 9/11? 2,996 people.
My bro’s parents died, but he didn’t know why.
Turns out they died because he was a failure, and he would be going to an orphanage in 4 days.
The patient said, "When will this be over?"
The doctor said, "After you die."
The patient says, "Was that a morbid joke?"
The doctor says, "Well, um, actually, you'll die because we broke the needles and the cure."
The patient says, "Well, it's a bright day, maybe if you weren't clumsy!"