a man died and went to heaven. here he met jesus. there were two clocks, the man asked whats with the clocks?. jesus answered this is mother theresa's clock she has not lied so the clock hasnt moved, this is abraham lincoln's clock; he's only lied twice so its moved twice. where's donald trumps the man asked. jesus replied: its in my office im using it as a ceiling fan.
Yo Mama is so huge when she was born everyone died
Where would you take Stephen hawking if he dies, the funeral directors or PC world
My crush: OMG my dog just died!😭😭😭😭😭
Me: Oh my goodness I am so sorry I am here for you!
My crush: I have a boyfriend...🙄
Me: Yeah well I have a dog
Bully: You're gonna die. Me: Hurry up then.
why does dr. pepper come in a bottle his wife died
How do we know Stephen is dying in hell
There’s a stairway to heaven.
friends are like penguins if you stab them they die 😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈
What’s the differencd between prison and concentration camps? At least you don’t die when you shower.
What do classical musicians do when they die?
They decompose.
a conductor was conducting a song, at the end he through his conductor's stick and killed someone, he was put to the electric chair but nothing happened, they asked why he didn't die and he replied, "I'm a bad conductor"
A lady asked if I heard about the mass shooting in Ohio. I said yes my friend died there. She said I’m so sorry. I said yeah I tried telling him the police had good aim. Worse than that he just found out his sister was cheating on him.
My ex died today. I also lost my job as a butcher
before i die ima ask to be cremated. then ima eat a buncha popcorn kernels. then ill die, and get cremated. BOOM! im popcorn.
My father died in 9 11. Its such a shame. He was a great pilot😔
God died for your sins, so basically if you don't sin then Jesus died for nothing
I would like to die like my islamic father, in his sleep. But not like the rest of the people in the plane or those in those identical towers.
