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Guys, for whatever reason, please do NOT use fly trap paper to wax your asshole!!!

Today, I was trying to search around my house for some waxing paper because my intertwined lengthy asshole hairs created a humid environment to where sweat and fungus was able to be produced. Then, I looked in my father's garage and I was able to find a large sheet of waxing paper (or so I thought).

The waxing paper was yellow for whatever reason, and I was on my bed; asshole pointing up towards the ceiling fan. I gently patted it on, and without hesitation, I ripped it off in one go.

It fucking hurt like CRAZZYYY, let me tell ya! Anyways, I was squealing in pain, and it fucking hurt like shit. I thought to myself, "There's no way they would make it this painful!". Then, a tingling sensation was coursing throughout the patch of skin between my ballsack and my asshole.

I then picked up the used paper, with my long fucking asshairs on it. It read "CAUTION: IF THIS PRODUCT COMES IN CONTACT WITH SKIN, IT MAY BE FATAL".

Turns out, the waxing paper was layered with pesticides, toxic adhesives, and for some reason, FENT!!!

Well, and that was the end of it. I'm beyond cooked now. I'll let you guys know if I'm going to be alive or not by the end of tomorrow.

Stay safe folks!