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so I'm a 1ft 2 inch carrot that is 4 inches wide. I was the biggest baddest carrot in the supermarket until one day, a 17 year old boy grabbed me alongside some vaseline. And then, when we got home, he dipped me in that vaseline and... I don't need to say the rest. Anyways I now smell like shit and his mother threw me out the window out of fear. I then got picked up by a trash collecter and he used me as a dildo too. After that he ate me and I fell out of his toilet as a shit pile. Thankfully he forgot to flush so I crawled out of his toilet and saw that he had this website called "Worst Jokes Ever" on. I then started typing this whole thing out and... here we are. I'm afraid I will now jump off the window and be mistaken for dogshit, so I cannot reply to your messages.