What's the difference between the milkman and my dad? Nothing they are both 1 thing except he never returns with milk.
(I've been eating cereal with water COMBINATION)
How are gay people like mice?
They both hate pussies.
Are you sure your father isn't a thief? Because he stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes.
You are recently injured because of your job as a driving instructor so you couldn't go on vacation with your friends. Your friends tell you that they have an Asian pilot. You realize, "They have a -1% survival rate."
I'm Asian and there is a saying that dogs are man's best friends. They are my best friends because they keep me from starving.
Today on a drive, I decided to go visit my childhood home. I asked the people living there if I could come inside because I was feeling nostalgic, but they refused and slammed the door in my face. My parents are the worst."
Three old women are sitting on a park bench. A man in a trench coat comes and flashes them. The first woman had a stroke. The second woman had a stroke. The third woman couldn't quite reach
This isn’t much of a joke but pickup line ok it’s this. Are you a marshmallow because I wanna put my stick in u
There are 206 bones in my body. When I look at you, it becomes 207.
Are you made of Gold, Titanium, Sulfur, Titanium, and Carbon?
Cause damn you lookin kinda Au Ti S Ti C.
Did You Know? : The most Black Holes in the Universe are all found in Africa!
Roses are red Violets are fine Why is your life So much better then mine
It took me years to figure out the Oreos served in Lunchables are knock offs. On the cover it says “Chocolate Crème Cookies”, I’ve believed this lie for as long as I can remember. Unless they were real back then? I don’t even know at this point..they sure as hell aren’t real now!
Do you know why there are no pharmacies and pharmacists in Africa? Because you can't take pills on an empty stomach!
There was a kid crying. I asked him where his perants were. He cried more. Orphanages are really fun to work at.
Roses are red The sun isn't shining My mental state Is rapidly declining
