what do you call an asian who gets a B its not a basian
Dead
I believe Alia is a true god because they say in the beginning there was an explosion
what do you call an American looking at cloud shapes
openheimer
What's an old Japanese mans last words
hey that cloud looks like a mushroom or is it just me
My son told me he has to bring an object for show and tell at school
So I had him bring my wife
What is the difference between an Isis training, camp and a school?
Not sure I just fly the drone
others, tearfully: stop shipping real people!! me, packing an old lady in a fedex box: nope!
What do you call an orange on a small stick?
Donald Trump.
What's an emos favorite way of growing food? The slash and burn tactic
Why do strippers never care about things?
Because the last time they gave a fuck, it was for 20$ an hour.
The boss wondered why one of his most valued employees was absent, but had not phoned in.
Needing to have an urgent work problem resolved, he dialed the employee's home phone number and was greeted by a child's whisper, "Hello."
"Is your Mummy home?" he asked.
"Yes," whispered the small voice.
"May I talk with her?"
The child whispered, "No."
Surprised and wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, "Is your Daddy there?"
"Yes."
"May I talk with him?"
Again the small voice whispered, "No."
Hoping there was someone with whom he could leave a message, the boss asked, "Is anyone else there?"
"Yes," whispered the child, "a policeman."
Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee's home, the boss asked, "May I speak with the policeman?"
"No, he's busy," whispered the child.
"Busy doing what?"
"Talking to the ambulancemen and the Fireman," came the whispered answer.
Growing more worried as he heard a loud noise through the earpiece on the phone, the boss asked, "What is that noise?"
"A helicopter," answered the whispering voice.
"What is going on there?" demanded the boss, now truly apprehensive.
Again, whispering, the child answered, "The search team just landed a helicopter."
Alarmed, confused, and a little frustrated, the boss asked, "What are they searching for?”
Still whispering, the young voice replied with a muffled giggle..."Me!"
A boss said to his secretary, "I want to have sex with you, but I will make it very fast.
I'll throw $1,000 on the floor and by the time you bend down to pick it up, I'll be done."
She thought for a moment then called her boyfriend and told him the story. Her boyfriend said, "Do it but ask him for $2,000. Then pick up the money so fast, he won't even have enough time to undress himself." She agrees.
After half an hour passes, the boyfriend calls the girlfriend and asks, "So what happened?" She responds, "The ...bastard.....used .....coins"
What activity do nuns and whores have in common? Ans.: Genuflection
what do you call an artist with a brown finger?
picasshole
What did the man who had sex with an instagram model in the reverse cowgirl position while going 90 on the freeway get charged for?
Driving under the influencer.
