And jokes

This 15-year-old girl wanted a cross on her room with a long nail on the end over her bed. Unfortunately, it killed her dad because it fell off the wall.

(Do you get the joke?)

(Her dad was on her, and it fell and killed him.)

Roses are red, violets are blue, when I saw you I thought of the zoo and monkeys too!

Did you hear the joke about Helen Keller? Neither did she. Did you see that one coming? Neither did she.

(She's blind and deaf)

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    • So, I was laying in bed and it's winter, so my room is always cold because the heater doesn't work.

    And I was thinking.... It would be warmer if someone else was laying here with me.... Then I laughed because who would wanna be with me. Hahaha

    I have depression, and am suicidal. Nobody knows though, let's joke about that lol.

    Why does Megan sound like a man, but she is a good singer and rapper, but then people talk about her? What's y'all rapper are singer?

    What do kids with cancer and cancer jokes have in common?

    CANCER!

    Just kidding, they are both fun to laugh at.

    I went to a sleepover at my best friend's house. He lives with his grandpa and little brother, his mom and dad. His little brother likes to run around the house naked sometimes. I can't help but notice his grandpa always looks up when he does.

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    • Me having a good day. Going on a walk on a peaceful day.

    My depression: hey, what's up!

    Me: go away.

    My depression: well how rude.

    Me: 🙄.

    My depression: remember that one time......

    Me: no, don't even.

    My depression: that we.....

    Me: nope.

    My depression: *says really fast*: said that one stupid joke that wasn't funny and everybody just stared at you, and then you spilled water all over yourself and it looked like you peed yourself. And you went home and cried yourself to sleep just like you do every single night.

    Me: 😳😶😟.

    My depression: 😉 don't worry I'll always be here for you.

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    • Little Red Riding Hood has to deliver food to her grandma again. She can drive now because she is sixteen. One the way, she accidentally took the wrong way and got to a different forest where her grandma lives now. She found the wrong cottage that looked like her grandma's home. When she opened the door, she found her younger and older sisters of ages 9, 11, 18, and 22. How old is Little Red Riding Hood?

    Answer: 16

    What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?

    One of them gets picked up.

    The cheetah had a race with a lion, and the cheetah won.

    The lion was like, "Why you always a cheetah?"

    The cheetah was like, "Why you always lion (lying)?"

    Ok, so I'm bored, depressed, and lonely. Someone wanna talk?

    Me telling a depression and suicide joke in front of my friends.

    My friends: ........ Oh wait, I don't have any, so nothing to worry about here.

    Me telling my parents I'm depressed: my parents, "No, you're just a little stressed and want attention, am I right?" My depression worsening, me: "Yeah, you're totally right mom..." Me in my head making a plan to commit suicide.....

    And that concludes your French oral. You can put your trousers back up, and I'll see you on Monday.

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    • The 1645 service has been cancelled and has been replaced by a replacement bus service.

    EasyJet would like to apologise to all of those who are travelling to Greece.