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What's worse than having a comedian as president? Having a president that has dementia

What was the drug addict's favorite nursery rhyme? I'm a little crack pot short and stout, put that crack pipe in my mouth, sell my body or sell my couch, get that lighter and smoke me out

It's important to have a good vocabulary. If I had known the difference between "antidote" and "anecdote", one of my best friends would still be alive

My grandfather said my generation relies too much on the latest technology. So I unplugged his life support

Do you know the phrase "One man's trash is another man's treasure"? Wonderful saying, horrible way to find out that you were adopted