NGC 6611

Who led the Israelites through the semipermeable membrane? Osmoses.

Theory is when you know everything but nothing works.

Practice is when everything works but no one knows why.

In our lab, theory and practice are combined: Nothing works and no one knows why.

Why did Shakespeare only write using quills? Pencils confused him: 2b or not 2b.

Two Italian men get on a bus...

They sit down and engage in an animated conversation. They speak with an Italian accent.

The lady sitting behind them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following:

"Emma come first.

Den I come.

Den two asses come together.

I come once-a-more.

Two asses, they come together again.

I come again and pee twice.

Then I come one lasta time."

"You foul-mouthed swine," retorted the lady indignantly.

"In this country we don't talk about our sex lives in public!"

"Hey, coola down lady," said the man.

"Who talkin' abouta sexa?

I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spella 'Mississippi'."

What’s the Difference Between a Cat and a Comma? One has claws at the end of its paws, and the other is a pause at the end of a clause.

A Piece of Sodium That Lived in a Test Tube Fell in Love With a Bunsen Burner "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium swooned. "I melt whenever I see you!" The Bunsen burner replied, "Calm down. It's just a phase you're going through."

A Photon Is Checking Into a Hotel The bellhop asks him, "Do you have any luggage?" The photon replies, "Nope, I'm traveling light."