Rectal Euthanasia

Yo mama so slutty the abortion clinic gave her a loyalty card and coupon for 20% off her next abortion.

There are a lot of upsides to being an orphan.

For one, you never have to worry about your jokes being family friendly.

Everybody is talking about Trump having leaks in his office.

I don't see what the problem is. He should just use a better fitting diaper next time.

Q: What's the difference between a CEO and a beer can?

A: Beer cans don't bleed when they get shot.

If an Indian kid is conceived in incest, would that make them OMbred?

Little Johnny goes to his mum and asks, "Mummy, what's rape?"

Little Johnny's mum answers, "The way you got here."

I wasn't going to tell another rape joke but fuck it.

Q. What do you get when you blindfold a racist?

A. A Notsee.

Q: What's the difference between Terri Schiavo and a tomato?

A: A tomato isn't a vegetable.

Q. What's the difference between fucking a coma patient and fucking a cabbage?

A. You have to cut a hole in the cabbage.

I know Marie Antoinette jokes aren't funny, but they're nothing to lose your head over.

Jokes about Marie Antoinette aren't funny, but that's no reason to lose your head.

It's not rape if you say "April Fools!"

You're really special.

But the R in special is silent.

Q: Why didn't Jeffery Dahmer eat comedians?

A: He thought they tasted funny.

Q. What's Jeffery Dahmer's favorite song?

A. "Pieces of You."

I'd tell a Luigi joke, but it would fall flat faster than the line on his victim's heart monitor.

Q. What do you call a CEO that's been shot in the head?

A. An ambulance.

Incest.

When your genealogy chart is a straight line.