･ﾟ｡ 🖇️ 𝑀𝒶𝓎 ᡣ𐭩 ｡ﾟ･

1. I just got my doctor's test results and I'm really upset about it. Turns out, I'm not gonna be a doctor.

2. My grief counselor died. He was so good, I don’t even care.

3. Today, I asked my phone “Siri, why am I still single?” and it activated the front camera.

4. A man wakes from a coma. His wife changes out of her black clothes and, irritated, remarks, “I really cannot depend on you in anything, can I!”

5. As I get older, I remember all the people I lost along the way. Maybe my budding career as a tour guide was not the right choice.

I threw a boomerang a few years ago. I now live in constant fear.

I have many jokes about unemployed people, sadly none of them work

I have a stepladder because my real ladder left when I was 5.

How many emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, they all sit in the dark and cry.

My parents raised me as an only child, which really pissed off my sister.

The doctor gave me one year to live, so I shot him with my gun. The judge gave me 15 years. Problem solved.

What does my dad have in common with Nemo? They both can’t be found.

A man wakes from a coma. His wife changes out of her black clothes and, irritated, remarks, “I really cannot depend on you in anything, can I!

Today, I asked my phone “Siri, why am I still single?” and it activated the front camera.

My friend said my life was a joke.

No jokes have meaning.

I bet emo kids are jealous when their phone dies.

What's a flat chested emo called?

A cutting board.

What's a opran family photo called?

Selfie.