Kayla

I'm not saying you're ugly, but you're the reason God created miscarriages!

Kid: "Mom, I had a scary dream. Can I come sleep with you and dad?"

Mom: "Sure, sweetie, sleep in the middle."

Kid: "Dad, can you get the remote out of my back?"

Dad: "That isn't the remote."

*Weird background music*

what did the woman with no hands get for christmas? no idea. she hasn’t opened her present yet.

Y'all follow me, please.