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Why did the child cross the road? Because he didn’t wear a seatbelt.

I've asked so many people what LGBTQ stands for. So far no one has given me a straight answer.

When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.

When I see the names of lovers engraved on a tree, I don't find it cute or romantic. I find it weird how many people take knives with them on dates.

Even people who are good for nothing have the capacity to bring a smile to your face.

For instance, when you push them down the stairs.

It turns out a major new study recently found that humans eat more bananas than monkeys. It’s true. I can’t remember the last time I ate a monkey.

Ricardo Medina, one of the former red Power Rangers, pleaded guilty to killing his roommate with a sword.