Fred

@fred

Why did the child cross the road? Because he didn’t wear a seatbelt.
Registered on · 2 followers · Last active 3 years ago
  • I've asked so many people what LGBTQ stands for. So far no one has given me a straight answer.

  • When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.

  • When I see the names of lovers engraved on a tree, I don't find it cute or romantic. I find it weird how many people take knives with them on dates.

  • Even people who are good for nothing have the capacity to bring a smile to your face.

    For instance, when you push them down the stairs.

  • It turns out a major new study recently found that humans eat more bananas than monkeys. It’s true. I can’t remember the last time I ate a monkey.

  • Ricardo Medina, one of the former red Power Rangers, pleaded guilty to killing his roommate with a sword.