Clem7

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What’s the difference between a suicide bomber and a feminist? A suicide actually does something when triggered.

How many people can you fit in a car? 6 - 3 in the back, 2 in the front and my nan in the ash tray.

What do a pulse and an orgasm have in common? I don’t care if she has one

What’s similar between a pregnant 12 year old and the fetus inside of her? They’re both thinking oh shit my mums gonna kill me!

So.. err actually know don’t worry. I was gonna make a joke about dead babies but I had to abort.

Why can’t a blind person be a teacher? Because they can’t control their pupils

Why did princess diana cross the road? She wasn’t wearing a seat belt

My wife said to me you really have no sense of direction do you? I said where the fuck did that come from?!

What was the last thing to go through princess Diana’s head before she died? The steering wheel

On my tinder profile I said “I prefer quality over quantity”. I just thought it sounded nicer than saying “no fat birds”