Why do black people only have nightmares?
Because the last one to have a dream got shot. (Martin Luther King joke)
chris77777
Me: What has two legs and bleeds?
Friend: Um, women? Obviously?
Me: Actually, half a dog. So you're still right.
A mirror and a beer bottle are arguing.
The beer bottle says: "If you break me, you get one year of bad luck."
The mirror scoffs: "Oh, that's nothing. You break me and you get 7 years of bad luck."
The condom overhears these arguments and walks off laughing.
How did Mary get pregnant with baby Jesus?
God fucked her.
Me to friend: I'm homeschooled.
Friend: If I was homeschooled, I'd kms.
Me: Oh, I already tried that.
Why did God build a stairway to heaven?
So all the disabled people will have to go to hell.
Friend 1: *turns off lights*
Friend 2: *is there with us*
Me: Woah! Where did friend 2 go?!
What's an emo's favorite way of growing food?
The slash and burn tactic.
Them: What's on your arm?
Me: I'm training to breathe fire ;)