AG

Your mom is so ugly that she uses Snapchat filters to make her pretty.

Your mom is so ugly that she made a mirror shatter.

Your mom is so dumb that somebody told her, "Go get a life," so she went to play Super Mario and got a 1-up.

I found a book called "How to Solve 50% of Your Problems." So I bought 2.

If your house is cold, just stand in the corner. It's always 90 degrees there.

Why should you never throw grandpa's false teeth at a vehicle? You might denture car.

How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.

My boss said “dress for the job you want, not for the job you have.” So I went in as Batman.

What do you call a happy cowboy? A jolly rancher.

What's a cat's favorite instrument? Purr-cussion.

I went to the aquarium this weekend, but I didn’t stay long. There’s something fishy about that place.

What's the best thing about Switzerland? The flag is a big plus.

Son: Dad, if I told you I was gay, would you still love me? Dad: Don’t be silly son, you were an accident. I never loved you in the first place.

'You the bomb.’ ‘No, you the bomb.’ A compliment in the US, an argument in the Middle East.

What is Hitler's least favorite fish?

Jewfish.

Your mom is so dumb that she thought Dunkin' Donuts was a basketball team.

Your mom is so stupid that she thought LGBTQ was a sandwich.

Yo mama is so fat when she stepped on the scale, it says "to be continued"