425 pound jokes

Roses are red, I like girls from the South, a 425-pound teacher gets suspended after sitting on a kid's head and farting in his mouth.

I saw a fat girl with a 'Guess' t-shirt, so I said, "286lb."

I saw a fat dude wearing a shirt that said "guess." I said 215kg, he didn't find it as funny.

What's the difference between an American 12-year-old and an African 12-year-old? About 40 pounds.

New study reveals that women slightly overweight live longer... than the men who mention it.

Me: Stepping on a scale to weigh myself.

Everyone else in the minefield...