An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.
Overwatch_Gamer321
What do you call a 100-year-old frog? An old croak!
Question: Why don't cannibals eat clowns? Answer: Because they taste funny
GRAVEYARD SAVINGS: While leafing through our local newspaper, I noticed this classified ad: “For sale: one used tombstone. Splendid opportunity for a family named Dingle.”
When a family friend passed away, my granddaughter took her three-year-old son to visit the widow. As they approached the front door, she whispered to the boy, “Make sure to tell her how sorry you are.”
He whispered back, “Why? I didn’t kill him.”
At the funeral of a family friend, I was chatting to June, an elderly lady I hadn’t seen since I was a teenager. I was thrilled when she told me what a beautiful young woman I’d become.
On the journey home, I remarked to my mother how lovely it had been to see June again.
“Yes, it’s such a shame that she’s gone blind,” she said sadly.
A doctor tells a woman she can no longer touch anything alcoholic. So she gets a divorce.
When I was a boy, I had a disease that required me to eat dirt three times a day in order to survive... It's a good thing my older brother told me about it.
I always feel better when my doctor says something is normal for my age but then think dying will also be normal for my age at some point.
I hope when I inevitably choke to death on gummy bears, people just say I was killed by bears and leave it at that
I got a reversible jacket for Christmas, I can't wait to see how it turns out
What is the difference between a nicely dressed man on a tricycle and a poorly dressed man on a bicycle? A tire (A tire as in clothes and the tire? U get it? no? I'm lonely. add me on Xbox: DECIMUS PAX)
Me and my receding hairline? Believe me, we go way back
Man, chocking on sugar seems like the sweetest way to die
My wife wanted to make a joke about domestic abuse but I beat her to it
Knowing how to pick locks has really opened a lot of doors for me
I didn't like having long nails, but they're growing on me
I wanted to be an astronaut but my parents always told me when I was little that the sky was the limit.
THE EGG THAT BEAT KYLIE JENNER