What's simultaneously up and down?
A retard on a plane.
Fineman, Einstein and Schrodinger walked into a bar.
Fineman says "it appears we're inside a joke".
Einstein says "but only to an observer who saw us walk in simultaneously".
To which Schrodinger says "if someone's looking through the window, I'm leaving".
Hate me all you want but I rather love bullying in all fairness, I love to watch all the loner kids being abused while simultaneously making a prediction for when which one of them will finally snap and shoot up the school.