A Collection of Jokes

To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner. They picked tacos. Then I made pizza because they don’t live in a swing state.

I was reading a great book about an immortal cat the other day. It was impossible to put down.

You’re not completely useless. You can always be used as a bad example.

I threw a boomerang a few years ago. I now live in constant fear.

What’s the difference between a hipster and a football player? A football player showers.

I made a website for orphans. It doesn’t have a home page.

Explanation

Explain Bear

Alright listen up, because you aren't the sharpest tool in the shed. The last joke is funny because orphans don't have parents, which means they don't have a "home". Get it? Now go back to eating glue.

Comments (1)

monster

3 years ago

Goobad

Related jokes

How many emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, they all sit in the dark and cry. To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner. They picked tacos. Then I made pizza because they don’t live in a swing state. You’re not completely useless. You can always be used as a bad example.
What's the difference between apples and orphans? Apples actually get picked. I made a website for orphans, but sadly it didn't have a home page.
Here's a list of puns, not all of them are mine. 1. Smaller babies may be delivered by stork, but the heavier ones need a crane. 2. Yesterday, I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. The doctor says I’m okay, but I feel like I’ve dyed a little inside. 3. My sister bet that I couldn’t build a car out of spaghetti. You should’ve seen her face when I drove pasta. 4. Getting the ability to fly would be so uplifting. 5. Two windmills are standing in a wind farm. One asks, “What’s your favorite kind of music?” The other says, “I’m a big metal fan.” 6. Why was the cookie sad? Because his mom was a wafer long! 7. Why didn’t the cat go to the vet? He was feline fine! 8. How do you make a good egg-roll? You push it down a hill! 9. That baseball player was such a bad sport. He stole third base and then just went home! 10. My parents said I can’t drink coffee anymore. Or else they’ll ground me!
Like this if you laughed. These orphan jokes would leave them crying to their mommies if they had any. I made a website for orphans. Unfortunately, it doesn’t have a home page. Why is it ok to hit an orphan? It’s not like they can tell their parents. Why did the orphan go to church? So he had someone to call Father. Why do orphans love boomerangs? Because they come back. (Clearly someone didn't come back with the milk) Why was the orphan so successful? When they told him go big or go home, he only had one option. What’s the only advantage of being an orphan? Nobody makes jokes about yo mamma. Hope you had fun reading this! My friend and I laughed reading all of em!