Doesnt jokes
My father always used to say:
"What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger."
Until the accident.
What's the difference between a piranha and a teenage girl?
The piranha doesn't wear makeup.
What did the orphan say to the barber?
I dunno, the orphanage doesn’t pay for haircuts.
What does E.T. stand for? Because he has little legs.
What does S.H. stand for? He doesn't.
What does S.H. stand for? Shit happens.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Cabbage.
Cabbage who?
Cabbage doesn’t have a last name.
What is wrong with the orphan website? It doesn't have a homepage.
A rich guy and a poor guy have their wedding anniversary on the same day. They meet each other at the shopping complex.
The poor guy asks the rich guy, "What'd you get for your wife today?"
The rich guy replies, "I got her a diamond ring and a Mercedes."
The poor guy asks, "Why did you get two gifts for her?"
The rich guy says, "If she doesn't like the diamond ring, then she can return it in her Mercedes."
The rich guy asks the poor guy, "What'd you get for your wife?"
The poor guy says, "I got her a pair of slippers and a dildo."
The rich guy asks, "Why did you get two gifts for her?"
The poor guy says, "If she doesn't like the slippers, then she can go f*** herself."
Why doesn't the U.S. Government play Clash of Clans?
Because they lost two towers already.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Your Boyfriend.
Your Boyfriend who?
Your Boyfriend who doesn’t love you! Bye!
Jasper doesn't like little girls and Bin Laden.
Why doesn't the orphan date the girl?
Because she is a home-y.
Why does Waldo wear stripes?
He doesn't want to be spotted.
Michael J. Fox walks into an ice cream parlor.
The man behind the counter asks Michael, "Can I help you?"
Michael exclaims, "I would like an ice cream."
The man behind the counter asks, "What flavor?"
Michael says, "It doesn't matter what flavor, I'm gonna fucken drop it anyway."
Which one will fall from the tree first, the leaves or the emo?
The emo doesn't fall.
Bully 1 to Bully 2: You're ugly.
Bully 2: Look in a mirror.
Bully 1: Just because it worked for you doesn't mean it will work for everyone else.
The bell rings, and Ana was about to leave, but the teacher said, "The bell doesn't dismiss you, I do."
The next day, Ana was late, and the teacher asked, "Why are you late?" Ana replied with, "The bell doesn't tell me when I should arrive, I do."
Why can’t an orphan hit a home run? Because he doesn’t have a home.
Why was Sally sad?
Because she couldn't play pattycake. Sally doesn't have arms.
So I stayed at home for Halloween when I suddenly hear a knock on my door. I open and I see Penandes! I was confused and asked him why he does not wear a costume, and he said he doesn't need to.
Then I realized that he's a ghost and gave him 3 candies. Enjoy the candies Pruno!
What do you call a can opener that doesn't work? A can't opener.