A depressed man has been thinking of killing himself and his friend says "Find jesus instead he'll help you!" and than the man says "It's pretty hard to 'get help' from something that doesn't exist".
Why is the last part of orphanage age ? Because it doesn't matter your age
When you ask your friend if he thinks lunch is good but he says that he doesn't taste anything
It’s disappointing that Los Angeles doesn’t offer better transportation, especially since my neighbor offers free mustache rides every night.
If your boyfriends doesn't get your fruit puns, you got to let that mango.
Robert doesn’t see people, the man just sees meals
Why did the chicken cross the road?
It doesn't matter, he's dead.
Who works at IHOP? A girl with one leg. P1: Why did the chicken cross the road? P2: To get to the other side DUH?!? P1: No dumbass, its to get run over because he has depression, a chronic illness, and his father left him for a good for nothing pimp that doesn’t even give a shit about how he feels. (Kinda like me). P2: Holy shitr u ok? *Some random eavesdropping fucker dials 911 in a hurry*
just because you have a career in the north doesn't mean you you are north Career
“Uh daddy harder” the orphan said oh wait he doesn’t have a daddy
What does an eighty year old woman have in between her boobs that a twenty year old woman doesn't?
A belly button.
Chuck Norris doesn't fly on airplanes. Airplanes fly on Chuck Norris.
Q: What do you call a skeleton that go's to school but doesn't do any work A:lazy bones
What is the difference between your dad and a video game? Your dad doesn’t beat you
Guys, I know how to stop racism. Delete the word racism. People can't be something that doesn't exist
I went to a restaurant and a waiter took my order. She had two black eyes, so I ordered real slow.
Because obviously she doesn’t listen
time flys by doesn’t it. But the plane in 911 didn’t.
What do you call an Indian that doesn’t smell Asif
Sister: Your so stupid Me: Calling me stupid doesn't make u any smarter!
Why doesn't the Chinese have a cricket team ?
It's cuz they always eat the bat .
