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Come closer, friend! I have a secret to tell you!

Ok I'm leaning in...

Enter my stomach chamber. I have cupcakes in here!

*SLAM* Hahahaha, got you!

Now I can grant your wishes... like a genie! Except you're the one trapped in a bottle!

Let's count the ways that you'll meet your end.

Any way, I'm tired of people telling me to kill myself. You know what just for fun, do a blood angel.

Ah ah ah. I have a limited number of ways to kill you.

You need to choose from one of mine.

Now let's count the ways

Dehydration is a good one.

You could die in a minimum of three days or a maximum of seven

I can tell that since you're on WorstJokesEver you must be pretty young, so don't count on a swift death!

With no water coming in to filter and flush the body, your kidneys will begin to wither.

Eventually they'll be so weak you'll die of total organ failure, a heart attack, or a stroke!

How fun.

15. Lol what else you got, burnt to death, too fun, starve, hilarious anything that'll shut me up?

What do you think Royal? Do you want to die this way? Easy for me, not so much for you.

Why yes I have more ways

Organ failure won't scare me

I could boil you alive

Henry VIII boiled his victims alive and it was considered the most AGONIZING way to die in all of history

Ooh. Tempting, tempting.

Your skin burns off and you feel nothing but pain all over but it takes AGES for you to die

Even I, incapable of feeling such pain, wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy

But it's up to you if you want to die this way.

Some onlookers of the boiling said they would rather watch a beheading.

OH! That brings me to the next way! Decapitation!

As you know we're sitting in a large rental filled with lots of twisted, mangled, and most of all SHARP metal.

Too quick even with a blunt blade it'll break my neck

These pieces of metal are pretty big for you, but pretty small for an animatronic such as myself

They're quite sharp though! If I slice fast enough I should be able to decapitate you quickly if I puncture a major vessel!

If not, though, you will die a slow and agonizing death, especially since I will not be able to remove the piece of metal and cause you to die faster of blood loss.

It's almost summer! Maybe you'd like to go swimming? Well then, I have the perfect death for you...

I could fill my stomach up with my water tank reserves, and you'd drown quickly!

Ooh I'll have to think on it I'll answer in five minutes. I mean where else can I go?

But too much water might cause me to short circuit, electrocuting you in the process.

A combo sounds fun!

Alright, new friend, but a decision must be made. If you don't answer in five minutes I'll have to choose a way myself.

I press the left cheek button then right, then Ur forehead open up Ur face take care of bonnie remove your chest cavity and save royal

Why save me?

But thanks

I run away, catch me later

But I hope funtime returns. He's nice.

WHAT A PARTY PO-OPER!