Before Community

There once was a man who beat his wife, And before he even knew it, he ended her life, His hands where a mess, all red and bloody, He had to find somewhere to hide the body.

Just gonna stand there and watch me burn? Well, that's alright, because I like the way it hurts Just gonna stand there and hear me cry? Well, that's alright, because I love the way you lie I love the way you lie I can't tell you what it really is I can only tell you what it feels like And right now, there's a steel knife in my windpipe I can't breathe, but I still fight while I can fight As long as the wrong feels ri… Read more

GENESIS 33 Jacob Meets Esau 1Jacob looked up and there was Esau, coming with his four hundred men; so he divided the children among Leah, Rachel and the two female servants. 2He put the female servants and their children in front, Leah and her children next, and Rachel and Joseph in the rear. 3He himself went on ahead and bowed down to the ground seven times as he approached his brother. 4But Esau ran to meet Jacob a… Read more

GENESIS 31 Jacob Flees From Laban 1Jacob heard that Laban’s sons were saying, “Jacob has taken everything our father owned and has gained all this wealth from what belonged to our father.” 2And Jacob noticed that Laban’s attitude toward him was not what it had been. 3Then the Lord said to Jacob, “Go back to the land of your fathers and to your relatives, and I will be with you.” 4So Jacob sent word to Rachel and Leah… Read more

GENESIS 30 1When Rachel saw that she was not bearing Jacob any children, she became jealous of her sister. So she said to Jacob, “Give me children, or I’ll die!” 2Jacob became angry with her and said, “Am I in the place of God, who has kept you from having children?” 3Then she said, “Here is Bilhah, my servant. Sleep with her so that she can bear children for me and I too can build a family through her.” 4So she gave… Read more

GENESIS 29 Jacob Arrives in Paddan Aram 1Then Jacob continued on his journey and came to the land of the eastern peoples. 2There he saw a well in the open country, with three flocks of sheep lying near it because the flocks were watered from that well. The stone over the mouth of the well was large. 3When all the flocks were gathered there, the shepherds would roll the stone away from the well’s mouth and water the s… Read more

I mean obvi the egg came before the chicken yk being evolved from a T-rex but did the T-rex or the egg come first?

Guy Fact #7: *Man goes out for a run* Man: "If I don't reach that post before that car, I'm gonna die."

My teacher asked us what is sex. My friend, Bobby got up and said in a loud, clear voice "Sex is a temptation caused by a sensation, Where a boy puts his location into a woman's destination to increase the population of the next generation. Do you understand my explanation, or do you need a demonstration?" The teacher shot him 23 times before she feinted.

GENESIS 27 Jacob 1And it came to pass, that when Isaac was old, and his eyes were dim, so that he could not see, he called Esau his eldest son, and said unto him, My son: and he said unto him, Behold, here am I. 2And he said, Behold now, I am old, I know not the day of my death: 3now therefore take, I pray thee, thy weapons, thy quiver and thy bow, and go out to the field, and take me some venison; 4and make me savou… Read more

Sixty-four people playing games and talking Black Hole threatens all of them 'Til a blue hand stops them Their name is Four, with X in tow Can they trust them? I don't know! They said, Don't you wanna battle for a prize? You could win a BFDI Eight teams of eight are made Get a basket and you'll be safe

Elimination time, it's Cake at Stake Pencil's out and taken away Where'd she go? Their jaws are slack Four brings d… Read more

GENESIS 24 Isaac and Rebekah 1Abraham was now very old, and the Lord had blessed him in every way. 2He said to the senior servant in his household, the one in charge of all that he had, “Put your hand under my thigh. 3I want you to swear by the Lord, the God of heaven and the God of earth, that you will not get a wife for my son from the daughters of the Canaanites, among whom I am living, 4but will go to my country … Read more

-The Rizzler -Rizzly Bear -The Boy Who Cried Rizz -Abraham Rizzcoln -Adolf Rizzler -Rizzy Neutron -A Degree In Quantum Rizzics -Barack Rizzbama -Need a Rizztraining Order -Anakin Rizzwalker -Rizzard of Oz -Lord of the Rizz -Performed a Rizzerruction -Rizzosaurus Rex -From the Village Hidden in the Rizz Offering -Rizztitution and Rizzarations -Glenn Rizzmire -Rizz Khalifa -Martin Luther Rizz -Kamala Harizz -Rizzy Hend… Read more

GENESIS 23 The Death of Sarah 1Sarah lived to be a hundred and twenty-seven years old. 2She died at Kiriath Arba (that is, Hebron) in the land of Canaan, and Abraham went to mourn for Sarah and to weep over her. 3Then Abraham rose from beside his dead wife and spoke to the Hittites. He said, 4“I am a foreigner and stranger among you. Sell me some property for a burial site here so I can bury my dead.” 5The Hittites r… Read more

GENESIS 21 The Birth of Isaac 1Now the Lord was gracious to Sarah as he had said, and the Lord did for Sarah what he had promised. 2Sarah became pregnant and bore a son to Abraham in his old age, at the very time God had promised him. 3Abraham gave the name Isaac to the son Sarah bore him. 4When his son Isaac was eight days old, Abraham circumcised him, as God commanded him. 5Abraham was a hundred years old when his … Read more

Everybody thinks my new glasses make me look like dahmer. I’ll post it in the meme section later. I’ll follow whoever can make the best dahmer joke before 30 comments.

GENESIS 20 Abraham and Abimelek 1Now Abraham moved on from there into the region of the Negev and lived between Kadesh and Shur. For a while he stayed in Gerar, 2and there Abraham said of his wife Sarah, “She is my sister.” Then Abimelek king of Gerar sent for Sarah and took her. 3But God came to Abimelek in a dream one night and said to him, “You are as good as dead because of the woman you have taken; she is a marr… Read more

GENESIS 19 Sodom and Gomorrah Destroyed 1The two angels arrived at Sodom in the evening, and Lot was sitting in the gateway of the city. When he saw them, he got up to meet them and bowed down with his face to the ground. 2“My lords,” he said, “please turn aside to your servant’s house. You can wash your feet and spend the night and then go on your way early in the morning.” “No,” they answered, “we will spend the ni… Read more

GENESIS 18 The Three Visitors 1The Lord appeared to Abraham near the great trees of Mamre while he was sitting at the entrance to his tent in the heat of the day. 2Abraham looked up and saw three men standing nearby. When he saw them, he hurried from the entrance of his tent to meet them and bowed low to the ground. 3He said, “If I have found favor in your eyes, my lord, do not pass your servant by. 4Let a little wat… Read more

GENESIS 17 The Covenant of Circumcision 1When Abram was ninety-nine years old, the Lord appeared to him and said, “I am God Almighty; walk before me faithfully and be blameless. 2Then I will make my covenant between me and you and will greatly increase your numbers.” 3Abram fell facedown, and God said to him, 4“As for me, this is my covenant with you: You will be the father of many nations. 5No longer will you be cal… Read more