Extremely depressing poem I wrote last year when I tried to kill myself

They were an inch wide and a centimeter deep But I don’t remember the length As I passed out in fear I remember staying pure Not being afraid of what I could do But I broke that years ago Last year, they used to be a millimeter wide and a nanometer deep An inch long I cried yet it wasn’t enough for me I remember being hot The wool sweater warming up by the Maryland summer skies But I couldn’t take it off

When I passed out in fear, I never woke up again But I don’t remember why I remember falling down a black hole Hearing screams and cries But I couldn’t come back and I didn’t know why

I stare at my shaking hands They are covered in my blood I remember when blood made me scared As an anxious child I still hear the screams of my family and friends They circle around me like a heavy storm Yet it is too late as my insides A r e a l r e a d y r o t t i n g .

I stare at the now blood-red sky of hell. I am supposed to be happy Yet I am horrified, As all I see is my actions playing over and over again around me. I knew it wasn’t worth it, As I had so much to do for years and years Yet I was happy to be done.

But in the corner of my vision I saw the thing that scared me the most, My one and only, The one who I thought despised me. And I saw his beautiful green eyes, Blood red from tears.