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    Hailey ❁

    Registered on · 43 followers · Last active 2 years ago
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    Does anyone else here eat pretzels with Nutella? It tastes AMAZINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

    I asked my dog this morning how her week's been going--she said "ruff." I feel her, you know? I feel her.

    This is the song we all misunderstood: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2S0QhGGO1gQ

    "He said, "One day, you'll leave this world behind, so live a life you will remember." My father told me when I was just a child, "These are the nights that never die." My father told me."

    Whenever I think about it deeply, it makes me wanna cry :(

    There's an outbreak of foot and mouth disease, it can affect pigs and cows.

    I hope my teacher will be ok.

    Mickey and Minnie are getting a divorce. The divorce lawyer says to Mickey: "Mickey, you can't divorce Minnie because she is crazy" to which Mickey responds: "I'm not divorcing her because she's crazy, i'm divorcing her because she's f**king Goofy.

    *Enter password*

    "ScoobyDoo"

    "Password must contain special character."

    "ScoobyDooFeaturingBatman"

    Lemme just say one thing:

    Depression is not funny. Two of my best friends have it, and it's actually quite hard to watch them suffer with it. They cry all the time, they get upset all the time, they either have wanted to or still do want to kill themselves. It's really not funny to joke about depression.

    Today, I asked my phone “Siri, why am I still single?” and it activated the front camera.

    Why should you always knock on the fridge door before opening it?

    The salad could be dressing!

    *WARNING* THIS WILL NEVER GET OUT OF YOUR HEAD - READ IF YOU DARE.....

    What came first? The chicken or the egg?

    Which came first? The color orange or the fruit?

    Who taught the first ever teacher?

    If you expect the unexpected, doesn't that make the unexpected expected?

    If you describe something as 'indescribable', then haven't you already described it?

    In the word 'scent', is the silent letter the 's' or the 'ce'?

    Why do your lips touch when they say the word 'separate', but don't touch when you say the word 'together'?

    How many photos do you think you could be in the background of?

    The guy who discovered cow milk, what was he doing with that cow?

    Do regular dogs see police dogs and think, "Oh no, it's a cop"?

    Is it possible to cry underwater?

    If two left handers have an argument, who is right?

    I warned you!! You just didn't listen.... :O

    What did the dentist say when he looks into a patient's mouth?

    "I C D K"

    You know what I see?

    DICK