Worst Jokes Ever
Why did the clown fall off his bike?
Because the neighbor threw a washing machine at him.
Why couldn't the teacher let her kids out?
Because she has no arms to open the door.
Why couldn't the kid play on his laptop?
Because he has no arms and no laptop and no legs and no head and no home and no money and got shot.
Why couldn't the farmer tend to the crops?
Because he's got no arms.
Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Grandma.
Grandma who?
I didn't know you could yodel!
What’s the craziest thing Kurt Cobain released?
The safety.
Why was Hitler banned from Formula One?
He could never finish a race.
How did Hitler like his portobello mushrooms?
Jewcy.
Why did Sally stay in school?
Because she has no arms, she can’t open the door, and the teacher left!
What is a snake’s favourite subject?
Hiss-tory!
Why did the banana go to the doctor?
It wasn't peeling well.
What kind of pizza do Asians get?
Prain.
What kind of fruit can fix your toilet?
A plum-mer.
Yo mama is so old, when I told her to act her age, she died.
Yo mama is so stupid that she called pest control for gym rats.
What’s another name for a woman giving birth?
Unloading the dishwasher.
Why are there so few Arab soldiers? Because they always commit suicide on their first day.
What are women allergic to and always try to dodge?
Accountability.
What is the difference between a prostitute and a wife?
A prostitute will fulfill your needs with your money; a wife will fulfill her needs with your money.
What do you call a sick Asian?
A calculator with dead batteries.