Worst Jokes Ever

An orphan told me people kept bullying him, so I said, "Tell your parents."

How many brewers does it take to change a light bulb?

About one third less than for a regular bulb.

I don't get why cancer is so hard to beat. My friend's already on stage 4.

Why don't black lives matter anymore?

Because a harvester is more efficient at picking crops than slaves.

Saint Nicholas is the patron saint of working girls. Call girls. Hookers. Prostitutes. And the association is a long one, going back to the very earliest legends which place St. Nick as a Greek bishop in Myra, Lycia in what is now the Turkish Mediterranean - three centuries after Christ.

Saint Nicholas is notable primarily for giving secretly to the poor, and supposedly the first to benefit were three young ladies whose poor father couldn't afford wedding or dowry to marry them off - destining them instead to a life of prostitution. St. Nick supposedly threw a bag of gold through the window to pay for the wedding but, by the third attempt, the poor father was watching to determine the identity of the anonymous benefactor. Santa outsmarted him by dropping the last bag of coins down the chimney.

So, whenever you see Santa, he always travels with his three favourite sex workers - who seemingly never grow old. On a quiet, still Christmas night you can even hear him call them.

Ho! Ho! Ho! And to all a good night.

What's the worst thing to hear in a prison shower?

"Drop the soap, we've got you surrounded."

"Sir, we noticed a 2-year gap in your resume."

"That was when I went to Yale."

"A Yale man? Well, you're hired!"

"Thanks! I really need this yob!"

I donated blood today. In the future, I will try to remember that I'm supposed to donate my blood only.

Why is there a big old gay parade on one of the first days of summer?

Pride always cometh before the fall.

What's one way to drain someone's ego?

Hand them a mirror, and say they should see how ugly they turned out in life.

Q. What do you call a prostitute who asks too many questions?

A. An intrusive thot.

Ever since convicted New York State felon Donald John Trump has taken office, the Canada-US border has been a mess of tariffs, counter-tariffs and boycotts.

And where does it end? I just got served a salad with 500 Islands in the dressing instead of a thousand. The price was the same.

Why is Transgender Day of Visibility on April Fool's Day?

Because all trannies are clowns and no one takes them seriously.

When you're sad, don't feel down about yourself. Break a leg, and you'll forget all about it.

I don't joke about vegans. That would be tasteless...

I have no beef with them.

Why was the gay boy fired from the sperm bank?

He was caught embezzling.

Your family is so cheap that they won't even pay for the child support to keep you.

I was diagnosed with a terminal disease. The doctor says my days are numbered.

Now I'm terrified of airports.

I'm the autism.

What is the best way to deal with bullies?

You shoot them.