Worst Jokes Ever
Why do witches wear name tags?
So they know which witch is which!
Q. What does a slutty mermaid get? A. Crabs.
Hey, guy, you suck! Why do I suck? Because you're the one that's sucking juice out of a straw.
How do you tell an Indian person from a Muslim?
Are you 7/11 or 9/11?
The interviewer asked me if I had a criminal record when I was requesting Australian citizenship.
I replied, "No. Is that still required?"
Job Interviewer: Where do you see yourself in the next five years?
Me: I'd say my biggest weakness is listening.
Why doesn't Jesus participate in Battle Raps?
All his comebacks take three days..
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Luke.
Luke who?
Luke through the keyhole and you’ll see.
Q. What's a necrophiliac's favorite dating site? A. Find a Grave.
Yo Momma so hairy, she has to shampoo her armpits.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Yo mama!
I think one of my dads might be gay.
Leave a man on a plane, and he flies for a day.
Throw a man off a plane, and he flies for the rest of his life.
Why did Marxism never catch on in England?
Because then it would be impossible to get proper tea.
What's the difference between your mom and a laundromat washer?
The washer doesn't take loads for free.
What does the blind man say when he walks past the fish market?
"Hello, ladies!"
What did Cinderella say when she sat on Pinocchio? "Lie to me."
What do women and a Happy Meal have in common?
They both come with a toy.
What happened to the frog that partied illegally?
He got TOAD away!
I told my teacher, "I’m failing life." She said, "That’s not on the syllabus."