Worst Jokes Ever
What does an orphan call a family photo?
A wishlist.
I am starting a business where I help people count. It is called making the little things count.
I wanted to make a joke about dandruff.
People are still scratching their heads over it.
Fritz Cheng was asked to write three articles on the subject. He went to his grandmother and advised her: "Question: Kill people! I am sorry, Mr. Fritz, I am looking for his brother—what do you suggest?"
Brother: "I'm Superman. I am Superman!"
Fritz remembers entering the room. That's Alfredo's question in front of the TV: "Do you have any advice?"
Fritz tells a story from his school days. "Remember our words?" said Professor Fleck. "An artist? Is that true? Frison, who are you?"
"I am Superman. I'm Superman," he said. "I hope to meet the president."
What is a Jamaican's idea of a balanced diet?
A joint in each hand.
Why did the blonde snort artificial sweetener?
She thought it was diet coke.
Your mama's so fat, she needed NASA to make her ID card!
Q: Why are flat-earthers seen so many these days? A: Because one girl wore an earth-printed shirt.
It's okay if you miss while saying "Kobe" because he didn't make it either.
Did you hear about the new sex doll they've invented for Muslims? It blows itself up!!
What was racing through people's minds during 9/11?
Probably a plane. (:
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they have no home to run to.
Your tits look heavy. Need help holding them up?
Free service for tit holding!
Knock knock.
Who's there?
No one.
No one who?
No one who?
What is the most unrealistic thing about Harry Potter?
A ginger with friends.
Your hairline so bad even God says, "Aaaaahhhh!"
Q. What movie is a fat person most afraid of?
A. The Hunger Games.
Your mom is so fat, when she went to the ugly contest, they said, "No professionals."
If Pete and Chasten Buttigieg had a baby together, it would be a turd covered in semen.
Who are the fastest readers on Earth?
The pilots flying the 9/11 planes. They went through 6 stories in 5 seconds.