Worst Jokes Ever

The Hodja purchased a piece of meat at the market, and on his way home he met a friend.

Seeing the Hodja's purchase, the friend told him an excellent recipe for stew.

"I'll forget it for sure," said the Hodja. "Write it on a piece of paper for me."

The friend obliged him, and the Hodja continued on his way, the piece of meat in one hand and the recipe in the other. He had not walked far when suddenly a large hawk swooped down from the sky, snatched the meat, and flew away with it.

"It will do you no good!" shouted the Hodja after the disappearing hawk. "I still have the recipe!"

His neighbor asked Hodja,

"Do you have some forty-year-old vinegar?"

"I have," answered Hodja.

"Would you give me some? I need it to prepare a medication," said the man.

"No, I won't," replied Hodja. "If I had given some to everybody who asked for it, would I have it for forty years?"

What are women allergic to and always try to dodge?

Accountability.

What is the most famous dish in Africa?

Don't know, they haven't tried it yet.

What’s the most played song in Africa?

Have you ever seen the rain?

What’s the best song to play when visiting Africa?

"Have You Ever Seen the Rain?"

What did the female farmer say to the person who raises a male chicken? "Nice cock!"

If possible, I refrain from brunching celebrities. My path is smooth. The table receives the branching.

When I arrived at my friend's house and, after a long time, I was given permission to pick from the branches and graze the dog, I agreed. Then the work begins. "No, no money," I replied, "that's why I'm a burden to the world that hurts me."

And when I told them, they told me and said they were there. If I had a job, I would be fired on the first day for bad behavior. The best solution is to avoid this situation.

Yo Mama is so dumb, she stares at a juice carton for an eternity because it says "Concentrate" on the box.

We’re so poor, we can’t even afford free stuff.

A lovely and clean kebab restaurant with the option to sit at the bar, sit outside, or eat in.

Besides kebabs, they also offer other typical dishes, such as cholodki. They also have a selection of different pizzas. The photo shows various kebab dishes with potatoes, rice, and salad. This time, the rice is mixed with oats. Enjoy! The other two kebabs are also delicious, but I didn't try them. As always, I was treated very kindly, and the service and quality ensured that they were always happy to help.

As a foodie, I have to say that this is the best kebab restaurant. Next time, I'll try the pizza and come back again.

What’s something you might say at sea, but not at your partner?

Land ho!

Two men are walking down the street, and see a dog licking its balls. One man says I wish I could do that. The other one says you can probably just pet him

What’s something you can say about vacation, but not about your girlfriend?

Next time I’m bringing all my friends.

What do you call someone with no arms and no legs?

A nugget.

What’s something you can say about a fat person, but not about strippers?

Those legs sure hold a lot of weight.

Something you can say about your furniture, but not your partner: "Those legs sure hold a lot of weight."

Why do Russians drink grizzly bear piss?

Since vodka in Russia is so weak, Russians need a strong drink to get drunk.

Why are Russians forced to drink grizzly bear piss in Russia?

Because vodka in Russia is weak.

What’s the hardest part about eating a vegetable? Getting them back in the wheelchair