Life is like a penis: women make it hard for no reason.
Maria went home happy, telling her mother about how she earned $20 by climbing a tree. Her mom responded, "Maria, they just wanted to see your panties!" Maria replied, "See Mom, I was smart, I took them off!"
Beer Bottle: “You break me, you get one year of bad luck!”
Mirror: “You kiddin' me? You break me, then y'all get seven years of bad luck!”
Condom: “Hahaha...”
I was sitting on my own in a restaurant, when I saw a beautiful woman at another table. I sent her a bottle of the most expensive wine on the menu. She sent me a note, “I will not touch a drop of this wine unless you can assure me that you have seven inches in your pocket.” I wrote back, “Give me the wine. As gorgeous as you are, I'm not cutting off three inches for anyone.”
What’s the key to a successful relationship?
Consent.
What was Hitler’s favorite fast food restaurant? Kentucky Fried Jews.
What do a small pair of underpants and small dance room have in common no ballroom
BlessedBrian’s AUTOBIOGRAPHY would be titled “The Adventure of Watching Paint Dry”
I would roast BlessedBrian, but it seems LIFE already did a thorough job
My brother is ugly one time he stuck his head out the window, the police arrested for mooning
What do cheap hotels and designer jeans have in common? No ballroom.
Why did the rapper become a chef?
Because he wanted to cook up some FIRE BARS
What's the traditional food of black Jews? - kosher watermelon...
I was at a train station and a woman ran up to me and asked is this train running on time, I said no it runs on steam and coal
What did the kid without hands get for Christmas? - I don't know, he still didn't open his present...
If only they had more mosquito nets in Africa we could prevent millions of mosquitos dying needlessly of AIDS...
It davving on the eons broski
daeveeonnnn
Daveon...
Daveon can barely fit on 5 pages
