Dishwasher

Dishwasher Jokes

Wife

Wife: (on phone) Hi. Husband: Hey, I didn’t know dishwashers talk and make me a sandwich.

Knock

Knock knock!!

Who's there??

Dishwasher!!

Dishwasher who??

Dishwasher way i used to talk when i got my head kicked in!

Ass

How do you make a dishwasher work again?

Smack her ass and say "get back to work!"

Name

What’s another name for cumming inside a woman?

Loading the dishwasher.

Name

what's another name for cumming inside of a woman?

loading the dishwasher.

Wife

What do you do when your dishwasher stops working?

Hit your wife harder.

Poor

Yo, so poor that you wash your paper plates and cutlery in a kids' dishwasher.

Wife

I was in class and we had to choose another term for words we use everyday. For kid, I chose "child"; for dog, I chose "pet"; and for wife, I chose "dishwasher."

Marriage

Marriage is really educational.

When I was single, I didn't even know there was a wrong way to put a fork in the dishwasher.

Day

Remember back in the day when your TV wouldn't work so you'd bang it a few times?

I tried that with my dishwasher, but unfortunately, she ended up pregnant...

Text

Mom: Don't forget to unload the dishwasher.

Mom: Did you finish your homework?

Mom: We are going to your grandmother's house for Thanksgiving.

Mom: Dad and I talked. We are getting a new car next month.

Son: You are?? Oh my gosh, thank you!

Mom: No, I was just making sure you were getting my texts.

Son: That was cruel!

Problem

There was a big problem yesterday.

My dishwasher has stopped working; her visa had expired.

Name

What’s another name for cumming in a woman?

Loading the dishwasher.

Kid

My kids are so ungrateful. I got them a new dishwasher and they just won't stop complaining about their mom.