Worst Jokes Ever
I used to think that I had a Japanese friend, but it was just my imagi-asian.
What did Osama give the Windows on the World restaurant in the WTC as a rating when he ate it? A 9/11!
What’s the difference between Jesus and a prostitute?
The look they give you while you’re nailing them.
What did the computer say when it was tired of the user?
Kiss my ASCII!
Three nuns die in a car crash, but they all make it to heaven. They're standing at the pearly gates, and Saint Peter says to them, "Don't worry, you're going to get in, but first I need you to answer these questions."
He asks the first nun, "What was the name of the first woman?" The nun says, "Eve." Saint Peter says, "Go on in."
Then he asks the second nun, "Where did Adam and Eve live?" The second one says, "The Garden of Eden." Saint Peter says, "You can go through."
Finally, he gets to the third nun and says, "What was the first thing Eve said to Adam?" The nun stands there a little confused and says, "Boy, that's a hard one." Saint Peter, shocked, goes, "That's correct! Go on in."
What do you call a lesbian pirate?
Red Beard.
A man walks into a restaurant. The waitress hands him a menu and it says: "Hot dog: $2, Hamburger: $5, Blowjob: $10."
He asks the waitress, "Are you the one who gives the hand jobs?"
She says, "Yes, I am."
He tells her, "Good. Can you go wash your goddamn hands? Because I want a hot dog."
What do black lesbians say about pussy?
"Smells like chicken, tastes like chicken."
What’s the best thing about a blowjob?
The ten minutes of silence.
I wanted to make a joke about dandruff.
People are still scratching their heads over it.
What's the difference between a sidewalk, a drug dealer, and a prostitute?
A: A sidewalk's crack doesn't leave an odor!
Why did the blonde snort artificial sweetener?
She thought it was diet coke.
What does an orphan call a family photo?
A wishlist.
Your mama's so fat, she needed NASA to make her ID card!
Did you hear about the new sex doll they've invented for Muslims?
It blows itself up!!
Your tits look heavy. Need help holding them up?
Free service for tit holding!
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they have no home to run to.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
No one.
No one who?
No one who?
What is the most unrealistic thing about Harry Potter?
A ginger with friends.
Q. What movie is a fat person most afraid of?
A. The Hunger Games.