Worst Jokes Ever
What do black lesbians say about pussy?
"Smells like chicken, tastes like chicken."
What’s the best thing about a blowjob?
The ten minutes of silence.
I wanted to make a joke about dandruff.
People are still scratching their heads over it.
What's the difference between a sidewalk, a drug dealer, and a prostitute?
A: A sidewalk's crack doesn't leave an odor!
Why did the blonde snort artificial sweetener?
She thought it was diet coke.
What does an orphan call a family photo?
A wishlist.
Did you hear about the new sex doll they've invented for Muslims?
It blows itself up!!
Your mama's so fat, she needed NASA to make her ID card!
Your tits look heavy. Need help holding them up?
Free service for tit holding!
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they have no home to run to.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
No one.
No one who?
No one who?
What is the most unrealistic thing about Harry Potter?
A ginger with friends.
A project manager, a mechanical engineer, and a computer scientist are on a road trip through the mountains. As they're going down a pass, the brakes suddenly fail. The car goes off the road and crashes down into the valley. A bit dazed, the three of them get out.
The project manager says, "Well, the best thing to do is to have a meeting and assess the situation."
The mechanical engineer replies, "Nonsense, I have my pocketknife, I'll fix the brakes with that."
Then the computer scientist comes along and says, "Why make it so complicated? Let's push the car back up the road, get in, and see if it happens again."
There are three Mexicans in a car. Who's driving?
The cop!
Do you know why most men are impressive cooks?
Because with two eggs and a sausage, they can keep women full for 9 months.
Steve Jobs would've been a better president than Trump...
But I guess comparing apples to oranges is unfair.
Why do trannies suck at being soldiers? Because they have a 41% casualty rate.
What does a gay guy and an ambulance have in common?
They both get loaded from the rear and go...woo woo woo.
What did Scorpion say to the ugly person?
"STAY OVER THERE!"
One day, a cop pulls a van over, and when he walks up to the window, he sees ten penguins in the back.
The cop asks the man, “Are those your penguins?”
The man says, “Yes, they are my pets.”
The cop replies to the man, “You need to take them to the zoo right now.”
So the man agrees and drives off. The next day, the cop pulls over the same van, and he walks up to the window and sees the ten penguins all wearing sunglasses.
The cop says to the man, “I thought I told you to take those penguins to the zoo.”
The man says, “I did! Today, we are going to the beach!”