Computer

Computer Jokes

Bill Gates

Bill Gates teaches a kindergarten class to count to ten. "1, 2, 3, 3.1, 95, 98, ME, 2000, XP, Vista, 7, 8, 10."

Orphan

Why don’t orphans work as computer repair technicians? Because they can’t find the motherboard.

Adam

The oldest computer can be traced back to Adam and Eve. It was an apple, but with extremely limited memory. Just 1 byte. And then everything crashed.

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  • Password

    A wife and husband were setting up their computer, and the husband made the password "my dick." But the wife fell on the floor laughing because the computer said the password was too short.

    Student

    A computer science student is studying under a tree, and another pulls up on a flashy new bike. The first student asks, "Where'd you get that?"

    The student on the bike replies, "While I was studying outside, a beautiful girl pulled up on her bike. She took off all her clothes and said, 'You can have anything you want.'"

    The first student responds, "Good choice! Her clothes probably wouldn't have fit you."

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  • Husband

    A blonde texts her husband on a cold winter’s morning: "Windows frozen, won't open."

    Husband texts back: "Gently pour some lukewarm water over it and gently tap edges with hammer."

    Wife texts back 5 minutes later: "Computer really messed up now."

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  • Windows 10

    Arnold Schwarzenegger was asked if he wanted to upgrade to Windows 10. He replied, "I still love Vista, baby."

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  • Technology

    What did the processor say when it was being overclocked?

    "Stop it! It hertz so much!"

    People

    Some people are like a software update. When I see them I think, "Not now."

    Shark

    What do you get when you cross a shark and a computer? Computer bytes!