Japanese

Japanese Jokes

Nuke

Do you know why the Japanese have squinted eyes? Because nukes are bright.

Ramen

I asked a Japanese chef how to make a good bowl of ramen, he said "Let me show you."

Christmas

Why do the Japanese hate Christmas?

Because the last time a Fat Man came down the chimney, they lost half their population.

Message

What’s the worst part about breaking up with a Japanese person

You have to drop the bomb twice before they get the message

Mario

Don't be racist! BE LIKE MARIO!

He's an Italian plumber, created by the Japanese, who speaks English, and looks like a Mexican, jumps like a black man, and grabs coins like a Jew.

Logan Paul

Why couldn't the Japanese man give a high five?

Because Logan Paul left him hanging.

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  • Man

    Why are Japanese always so skinny?

    Cause last time there was a fat man, an entire city disappeared.

    Soldier

    A Chinese boy never met his parents after they were killed in WW2, so when he learned where they were buried, he quickly rushed there.

    He sat down in front of their graves and prayed, "I want to see your face again, mommy..." A miracle happened; his mother rose up from the graves and hugged him.

    The boy cried then said, "I want to see you too, dad." He looked at his father's grave, but nothing happened.

    Suddenly, a Japanese soldier came up behind him and asked, "Were you looking for me?"

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  • Atomic Bomb

    Why did the Japanese NOT shoot down the American plane that was dropping atomic bombs?

    From what their eyes saw, it was a piece of rice.

    Hitler

    What's the difference between Hitler and Logan Paul? At least Hitler had respect for the Japanese!

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  • Fan

    You could say Japanese car fans and ancient Egyptians are alike—they both worship Datsun.

    Friend

    My Japanese friend told me a Pearl Harbor joke. I told him he bombed it.

    Bomb

    What should you never say to a Japanese person? "You're da bomb!"

    War

    I can’t watch anime anymore when my friend’s grandpa is in the house.

    He hasn’t heard a Japanese person scream since the war.

    Kamikaze

    What's the difference in Japanese Kamikaze and 9/11?

    There is none, they both go up in flames.

    Fat Man

    Why are people in Japan so thin?

    Because it didn't end well the last time a Fat Man was there.

    Knee

    What do you call a Japanese person when their knees are cured?

    "Happynese" (happy knees).

    Anime

    I could have sworn while watching anime I saw an American Boeing B-29 Superfortress in the background dropping bombs!