Humor

My mother wanted to test my responsibility and wanted me to cook dinner for the family to help me understand how it feels to constantly cook for a whole family. So, me with my horrible humor, decided to make a giant joke for when dinner time came around, and so I just got four plates and set them in front of my family and I then said, "Here you are, a fine African meal." Then everybody looked at me in disappointment, and then I continued to say, "What? Poor taste?"

Are you suicide, 'cause you're always on my mind?

New Teacher: "I was an orphan as a kid."

Students: "OOF!"

Teacher: "Is anyone missing?"

Students: "Your parents!"

A man walks into the library. “Hello ma’am, I’d like to borrow a book about committing suicide.” The librarian replies, “No, you won’t give it back.”

When I'm bored, I text a random number, "I hid the body... now what?"

If life is a joke, does that make school shootings the punchline?

Dark Humor is like a child with cancer. It never gets old.

Why are priests called father? Because it's too suspicious to call them daddy.

"I hate going to weddings, because the old lady next to you always whispers in your ear, 'You're next.' So I started doing the same to them at funerals, 'You're next.'"

What's green and smells like pork?

Kermit's fingers!

your (DYM 59)

What happens when the terminator pees?

Gasoline descent.

I just found out, these jokes are about dead people.

Knock knock. Who's there? Theodore. Theodore who? Theodore is locked, that is why I knocked.

"Talking Ben killed me. JK, it was talking me."

Why didn't the skeleton go to the party?

Because he had no body to go with!

Comedy is so woke these days. You can't make fun of any disadvantaged group.

Except people with Alzheimer's. They'll just forget you made the joke in five minutes anyway.

This is not a joke.

The best way to enjoy Port Arthur is to shoot through--a quote by comedian Isaac Butterfield.

My grandfather has the heart of a lion... And a lifetime ban from the zoo.