Want to know why parents don't get school shooting jokes? Because they are aimed at a younger audience.
To the guy in the wheelchair who stole my camouflage jacket... You can hide, but you can't run.
people talking me asking whats the worst day in the year for them. Person 1: The first day of school cause i don't like going to school
Person 2: Valentines day cause its to lovey
Me: oh nice mines my birthday cause its when i was born
Stop making 9/11 jokes, my father died in a plane crash
Best pilot in Saudi Arabia
I have 206 bones in my body but when I look at you I have 207
What is the difference in having a granny fetish and necrophilia? A few weeks.
jack and jill went up the hill to do it in the water. jack slipped, his condom ripped, and now they have a daughter
What is the worst motivational thing to say to a suicidal person?
If at first you don’t succeed, try again and again until you succeed.
Son: Dad? Why is mommy no longer with us? Dad: Why did the chicken cross the road? Son:why? Dad: To get to the other side but your mother only made it about halfway
If I had a dollar for every girl that found me unattractive, they would eventually find me attractive.
What's the difference between a baby and a baked potato?
About 140 calories.
What does a relationship and suicide have in common?
I always fail on committing
What's a pedophile's favorite type of garden?
A kindergarden.
I'd tell you a joke about unemployed people, but none of them work.
What is an orphan's favorite beer?
"Fosters."
"Come on, man, give the orphans a break with these jokes.
"No, not until their parents pick them up."
If sex with three people is called a threesome and sex with four people is called a foursome, I guess now it's clear why everyone calls me handsome.
Why do midgets laugh when they run?
Because the grass tickles their balls.
What’s the difference between stephan hawking and a walkie talkie. He can’t walkie or talkie
The other day my friend messaged by saying “bro I have two pieces of bad news for you.” I told him to combine them. He replied with “your girlfriend is cheating on both of us.”
