Asian jokes
How do you know you’ve been robbed by an Asian? The house is clean, the homework is done, but the idiot is having trouble backing out of the driveway.
How many cats are in the human body?
None, unless you're Asian.
There's no Asian kids in my class, but it just happens to be the rice store and the pet store just ran out of stock...
Why can't Asians do word searches?
They can't see the words.
What makes Asians look like they're laughing at everyone? They're squinting before they hear the joke.
What's the last thing Asians hear from their parents?
"My money is my money. Your money is my money. Your wife's money is my money. Always remember that, son."
Why can’t Asian people play baseball?
Why?
'Cause they ate the bat!
What do you call an Asian, a blind man, and a very bad driver?
What does a Jamaican guy say to an Asian?
Poke me, mon.
How do Asians name their kids?
They throw pots and pans down the stairs. (ching chong dong)
How do you know if an Asian is an orphan?
If their grade was only an A.
An Asian went to bed at 9:00, woke up at 6. People say he's still sleeping.
What do Chinese parents hate the most?
A newborn daughter...
Q: What time does an Asian go to the dentist?
A: 2:30
What's an Asian's worst nightmare? A tree.
If you're ever bored, try scaring the sh*t out of an Asian to see their eyes open for the first time.
What did the Asian people name their retarded son?
Sum Ting Wong.
I went to the grocery and they said I did something wrong, but I thought they were talking about a food, so I said, "Wrong yummy!"
Why was the asian late to class?
His 1 minute rice took 2 minutes to cook.
How do you blindfold an Asian?
You use dental floss.