Asian jokes
How do you blindfold an Asian? String!
I lost my black friend in the shadows. I lost my white friend on the wall. I lost my Asian friend in the sand and I lost my Islamic friend in the bombings.
Why can't two Asians make a white kid?
Because two wongs don't make a white.
Q: How do you know when an Asian broke into your house? A: Your math homework is done, your computer is upgraded, and 2 hours later he's still trying to back out of the driveway.
Why are Asian's eyes always squinted?
Nukes are bright.
Driving lessons
Ching chong China.
Jing jong Japan.
Ting tong Taiwan.
Hing hong Hong Kong.
King kong Korea.
When I hired a Asian detective to see if my wife was cheating on me, I got this letter:
Mr. Wong - I see he, so I climb up tree. He knock on door and she let him in. She talks to him, he talks to she. He undresses she, she undresses he. She plays with he, he plays with she. I play with me, I fall out tree, I no see... No fee.
Why are Asians good at math?
Because the dog can’t eat their homework.
How do you name a disabled Asian?
Throw the wheelchair down the stairs.
Why can Asian people buy phones?
'Cause they might call the wrong number.
Spongebob is yellow, and he can't drive. Must be Asian.
Why was the asian late to class?
His 1 minute rice took 2 minutes to cook.
Why are all Asians so skinny?
Because last time there was a fat man a whole population disappeared.
What do you call an Asian who can't hear?
Wha U Sai
I just found out that there is a racist stereotype about Asians being bad drivers, which isn't true... but if it is, then maybe Pearl Harbor was just an accident.
If Asians are bad at driving, then was Pearl Harbor an accident?
Q: How do you know when an Asian broke into your house?
A: You can't find your dog.
How do you name an Asian child?
Ring the doorbell.
How do Asians name their babies?
They throw pots and pans around.
"Ching, Chang, Clang!"
Today I got a lecture from my mother, and congratulated her. Why?
Because she managed not to damage me in a physical fashion.